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I think my R1 microfiction was disqualified |
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Zydrate
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Joined: 26 Apr 2022 Status: Offline Points: 119 |
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Topic: I think my R1 microfiction was disqualifiedPosted: 22 Jun 2023 at 2:29am |
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Update! My story wasn't disqualified! =) ____ Thank you to everyone who provided feedback on my story and for reading my small rant. I needed to air this frustration somewhere. Also, a big congrats to everyone advancing to the next round! I wish you all boundless inspiration and creativity as you tackle your new prompts this weekend =)
Edited by Zydrate - 22 Jun 2023 at 11:40am |
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Suave
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Posted: 22 Jun 2023 at 5:00am |
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You have such a short time to complete these and be creative, so many things to remember.
The mind sees what it wants to see when doing the short contests. Just put it down to a learning experience...
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LindaNZ
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Joined: 22 Jul 2019 Location: New Zealand Status: Offline Points: 1002 |
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Posted: 22 Jun 2023 at 6:14am |
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I didn't notice when I read your story that technically your action may have happened before the story. It was such a sweet, poignant story.
One time, I was running late and noticed at three minutes before deadline that I hadn't included my word! So I hastily rewrote it into an awfully clumsy sentence and hit submit on a really lame story. It's rough when you slip up on the prompt, but it helps you to remember next time if that is any consolation! And as Suave says, there's lots to remember while being creative in a short period of time. Hope you get some helpful feedback from the judges. |
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LiselErienne
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Posted: 22 Jun 2023 at 7:29am |
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I wouldn't be too worried about that. The rules say that the the action can be implied, or a memory, or flashback, etc. I haven't read your story so I'm not sure if thst applies. I edited my original comment because I said I saw a story advance where the action was implied (it seems the rules allow implied actions) but to me, it was only implied only if you knew the prompt which I suppose was sufficient for the judges.
Edited by LiselErienne - 22 Jun 2023 at 7:41am |
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Frey_a
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Posted: 22 Jun 2023 at 7:48am |
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I just went and read your story and nothing makes me think it was done before the story. If anything, it’s implied, and could be implied to have been done at ‘now lit’.
But that aside, I totally agree with everything Suave said. We can only think and do so much in that short time frame.
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Zydrate
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Posted: 22 Jun 2023 at 9:57am |
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Thanks everyone! Your comments made me feel much better. I wouldn't have moved forward either way, but there's something about a disqualification that stings more. I'm usually a last-minute submitter, so I always miss out on the beta-reading swap. This is one of the few times I had it completed a little earlier and should've cleaned it up better to avoid any ambiguity with the action placement.
So while I really hope it wasn't actually disqualified, I'm still gonna' take it as a lesson learned (hopefully) and look forward to still getting feedback from the judges. I'm very proud of that story and enjoyed reading everyone else's creations for this year's challenge. Looking forward to reading more in the coming rounds! |
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Zydrate
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Posted: 22 Jun 2023 at 12:10pm |
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So it wasn't disqualified!
The judges were confused, and apparently a twist isn't impactful if the narrator is already aware of it, even if it's a surprise for the intended audience (the reader) 🙃 Thank you to everyone who eased my worry early this morning! I'm actually feeling soooo much better now. This was a relief. ____ Feedback from the judges: WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY - {2272} This is a touching story about something along the lines of dementia. There's a sense of loss and grief but also deep love, as the narrator tries to connect to the other character through the medium of the peppermint smell which for some reason makes them feel better. The mention of physical touch (squeeze) is very powerful, it shows us the feelings and the connection, as opposed to just telling us about it. {2115} There's something so intimate and powerful about this scene between mother and daughter. I love that you start small, with the sensory detail of the peppermint, and seamlessly extrapolate from there to build the whole scene through dialogue, gesture, and only a touch of backstory. This is so smooth and elegant and effecting. Great job! {2307} You do a great job of setting the scene in this story — the sensory details you choose (hazel eyes, the scent of peppermint, the "squeeze" of her hand) make the story feel vivid and engaging. WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK - {2272} You always need to bear in mind that the reader doesn't know what's in your mind, only what's in the text, so clarity always has to be a paramount requirement. I don't feel there was a particular reason to withhold the information that these are daughter and mother until the end of the story. The mother mistakenly addresses the daughter as sister, and that's confusing for the reader. The story isn't particularly enhanced with the 'twist' of the final line, because it's not really a twist, the narrator knows they're with their mother the entire time but they just don't tell it to the reader - that feels a little contrived. {2115} There's nothing i take issue with here, really. Should we maybe have a sense of how long Mom has been unconscious/in the comalike state? {2307} I'm not sure I understood what was going on in this story. When the narrator says "that sweet voice I once took for granted," what is she talking about? What happened to her mom? Do they no longer have a relationship? Why does her mom mistake her for her sister? What does the scent of peppermint have to do with all of this? I might consider revising some of the sensory details in the story to help the reader figure out what's going on. For example, there might be a specific memory that the peppermint smell is trying to evoke that could give the reader a clue to the relationship between mother and daughter, or maybe you could establish more clearly where this scene is taking place. Clarifying these details would make this story even more impactful. ______ Edited by Zydrate - 22 Jun 2023 at 12:32pm |
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spilledink
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Posted: 22 Jun 2023 at 4:28pm |
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I was disqualified once when I changed something at the last minute and accidentally eliminated the required word. It was a screenplay challenge that my sister was supposed to do with me because she's the screenwriter but something conflicted that weekend and I ended up solo and have no clue how to write screenplays. I totally bombed that one!
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snuffles
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Posted: 22 Jun 2023 at 9:25pm |
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I think it might be because Zydrate comes in a little glass vial (a little glass vial?)
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Zydrate
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Posted: 22 Jun 2023 at 9:28pm |
You and I are now friends! =)
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