Creative Writing Corner - I think my R1 microfiction was disqualified

Update! My story wasn't disqualified! =)

Thank you to everyone who provided feedback on my story and for reading my small rant. I needed to air this frustration somewhere.

Also, a big congrats to everyone advancing to the next round! I wish you all boundless inspiration and creativity as you tackle your new prompts this weekend =)

The mind sees what it wants to see when doing the short contests. Just put it down to a learning experience...

One time, I was running late and noticed at three minutes before deadline that I hadn't included my word! So I hastily rewrote it into an awfully clumsy sentence and hit submit on a really lame story. It's rough when you slip up on the prompt, but it helps you to remember next time if that is any consolation!

And as Suave says, there's lots to remember while being creative in a short period of time.

Hope you get some helpful feedback from the judges.

But that aside, I totally agree with everything Suave said. We can only think and do so much in that short time frame.

The judges were confused, and apparently a twist isn't impactful if the narrator is already aware of it, even if it's a surprise for the intended audience (the reader) 🙃

Thank you to everyone who eased my worry early this morning! I'm actually feeling soooo much better now. This was a relief.

Feedback from the judges:

WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY - {2272} This is a touching story about something along the lines of dementia. There's a sense of loss and grief but also deep love, as the narrator tries to connect to the other character through the medium of the peppermint smell which for some reason makes them feel better. The mention of physical touch (squeeze) is very powerful, it shows us the feelings and the connection, as opposed to just telling us about it. {2115} There's something so intimate and powerful about this scene between mother and daughter. I love that you start small, with the sensory detail of the peppermint, and seamlessly extrapolate from there to build the whole scene through dialogue, gesture, and only a touch of backstory. This is so smooth and elegant and effecting. Great job! {2307} You do a great job of setting the scene in this story — the sensory details you choose (hazel eyes, the scent of peppermint, the "squeeze" of her hand) make the story feel vivid and engaging. WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK - {2272} You always need to bear in mind that the reader doesn't know what's in your mind, only what's in the text, so clarity always has to be a paramount requirement. I don't feel there was a particular reason to withhold the information that these are daughter and mother until the end of the story. The mother mistakenly addresses the daughter as sister, and that's confusing for the reader. The story isn't particularly enhanced with the 'twist' of the final line, because it's not really a twist, the narrator knows they're with their mother the entire time but they just don't tell it to the reader - that feels a little contrived. {2115} There's nothing i take issue with here, really. Should we maybe have a sense of how long Mom has been unconscious/in the comalike state? {2307} I'm not sure I understood what was going on in this story. When the narrator says "that sweet voice I once took for granted," what is she talking about? What happened to her mom? Do they no longer have a relationship? Why does her mom mistake her for her sister? What does the scent of peppermint have to do with all of this?

I might consider revising some of the sensory details in the story to help the reader figure out what's going on. For example, there might be a specific memory that the peppermint smell is trying to evoke that could give the reader a clue to the relationship between mother and daughter, or maybe you could establish more clearly where this scene is taking place. Clarifying these details would make this story even more impactful.

You and I are now friends! =)

I'm so sorry! Unfortunately, I know how bothersome those word counts can be and how much it alters the story when we need to make adjustments to it. The Screenplay Challenge sounds like a lot to tackle, and I hope you took some pride in still finishing the challenge and creating something you were otherwise unfamiliar with. I also hope you continue to try your hand at that same challenge in the future =)

You and I are now friends! =)

Now I have the song in my head!