NYC Midnight : Creative Writing & Screenwriting Homepage
Forum Home Forum Home > GENERAL DISCUSSION > Creative Writing Corner
  New Posts New Posts RSS Feed - Your Favorite Feedback
  FAQ FAQ  Forum Search   Events   Register Register  Login Login

Your Favorite Feedback

 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1234 5>
Author
Message
Jhill View Drop Down
NYC Midnight Black Belt
NYC Midnight Black Belt
Avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2017
Location: Maryland
Status: Offline
Points: 2541
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jhill Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 3:58pm
{1610}  ~ I LOVE what a hybrid your tale is: Romance, Fantasy, Magical Realism, & Fairy Tale elements combined!

I'm glad to read that, because I was afraid I'd totally missed the romance genre.
R1 - The Legend of Garalinda (Fairy Tale)
Back to Top
Sponsored Links


Back to Top
Ennazus View Drop Down
NYC Midnight Newbie
NYC Midnight Newbie
Avatar

Joined: 01 Feb 2019
Location: Stoughton, WI
Status: Offline
Points: 37
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ennazus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 3:59pm
My positive feedback was great, the "needs work" was also good (though one bit was particularly vague)... but the feedback was somewhat contradictory. That being said, I was committed to other projects and rushed to finish, so I knew going in there was room for improvement. Personally felt I didn't ~quite~ earn my ending. Happy surprise to get fourth in my heat and advance. Still, good tools to up my game for round two! And my schedule is clear this weekend (sorry garden and golf). Woot! 
Read my 1st Round story titled Nothing Last Forever Except ...
Read my 2nd Round story titled Power Ranger
Back to Top
imbi View Drop Down
NYC Midnight Groupie
NYC Midnight Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 06 Feb 2018
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 171
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote imbi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 4:18pm
I am particularly thrilled by “Reading the story, I completely forgot about the topics required of the story for the competition and just relaxed into the prose, which was excellent.” 

Whenever I read back the stories I have written for this comp, all I can ever see are the prompts...
2019 R1 H149 THE PROXY - 1st Place
2019 R2 H4 FOR KNOWLEDGE, WE SACRFICE
Back to Top
alpaca_shearer View Drop Down
NYC Midnight Groupie
NYC Midnight Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 24 Jan 2019
Location: New Zealand
Status: Offline
Points: 213
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote alpaca_shearer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 4:35pm
My favorite: 
{1906}  I really enjoyed the voice in this story--it's fresh and compelling, and Walter Bingham is a complex and tragic character, a true original who I immediately felt attached to and invested in. The writing is very strong, and there were certain lines that actually brought me to tears (for instance, Wickie hoping that the 13 men he saved from the Belle would balance out the 7 he killed in the war). Haunting and emotionally affecting.

Overall I had extremely positive criticism. Very happy with most of the feedback I got, but one of the judges didn't like that I used the word "asshole". Maybe that's what cost me the 1st place spot!
Back to Top
Cassalass View Drop Down
NYC Midnight Regular
NYC Midnight Regular
Avatar

Joined: 19 Jan 2019
Location: Murray, UT
Status: Offline
Points: 256
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Cassalass Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 4:49pm
I was hoping someone would start a thread like this.Smile The review from judges on mine were very kind and encouraging. I am cracking up that they complimented my dialogue though. Every single forum reviewer put my dialogue in the needs work category. LOL maybe the words said were ok but my formatting is not right. I enjoyed the positive message from the judges but the forum reviews were more helpful for learning and growing.

This is a great story that warrants praise. The descriptions are excellent, setting scenes and carrying out action so clearly and beautifully; for example, how Vinn “deposited smoking handfuls of coconut fibers on plates laid periodically from stern to aft and clambered topside.” Similarly, you’ve created many wonderful metaphors such as how Captain Berwick “emerged from his cabin like a bleak horizon on a gale wind” and how “Mr. Hurd hauled Mr. Cobb like a hissing bushel of wheat below deck.” 
The dialogue is fantastic, revealing time, place, and character while helping to push the plot forward.


R1,H55,Historical Fiction The Rat Merchant
R2,H11,RomanceOn Your Left
Back to Top
OKCryptid View Drop Down
NYC Midnight Groupie
NYC Midnight Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2019
Location: Seattle, WA
Status: Offline
Points: 171
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote OKCryptid Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 4:54pm
Quote {1742}  I have nothing to suggest. The story works like a well oiled machine. Nothing I can say could improve it as it is already at it's best.
My advice? Write and make a damn fine living at it!


This made me feel like I had to sit down. And I was already sitting down. LOL It's the nicest thing anyone's ever said about anything I've written.
Back to Top
Holdo View Drop Down
NYC Midnight Groupie
NYC Midnight Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2019
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 199
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Holdo Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 5:04pm
My favourite has to be this: "I would totally read the book that followed this story, if there was one someday."

Better get cracking, I guess. Smile
SSC 2019: R1 R2 R3
Back to Top
lisafox10800 View Drop Down
NYC Midnight Black Belt
NYC Midnight Black Belt
Avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2016
Location: NJ
Status: Offline
Points: 7290
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote lisafox10800 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 5:28pm
"I loved your use of descriptive imagery. You really took the reader on a journey here! Your writing is incredibly strong, and the plot was exciting from start to finish. I was hooked. Wonderfully written!"
Back to Top
Angara View Drop Down
NYC Midnight Newbie
NYC Midnight Newbie
Avatar

Joined: 29 Jan 2019
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 38
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angara Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 5:42pm

 From the "positives" section, my favorites were:

{1816} The setting is gritty and vibrant in its details as we walk through this place in her vision of what she sees. She has much power and with that also come torment and aloneness. In a way, she is like the Dalai Lama - only one visionary at a time that is prophesied. We feel the great responsibility she has as the oracle and we can see how this weighs on her.


{1844}  I loved the Oracle. Her voice is consistent throughout the story. Scenes between her and the various people she interacts with are well done. The world is interesting and the ending twist is fantastic. 


The "Needs Work" section generally echoed what I personally thought needed improvement in my story, so it was good to have other people tell me that yes, you definitely need to work on this. But my favourite piece of feedback from this area was a judge pointing out the real meaning of a Greek term. It's embarrassing in that I hadn't researched the English translation, but I'm so glad the judge clarified what it meant. LOL

 {1844}  Grammatical purists would suggest that you shouldn't use "the" before "Hoi Polloi" since technically "hoi" means "the." 





Edited by Angara - 03 Apr 2019 at 6:01pm
Back to Top
chrissie0707 View Drop Down
NYC Midnight Black Belt
NYC Midnight Black Belt
Avatar

Joined: 07 Feb 2018
Location: Indianapolis
Status: Offline
Points: 2462
Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote chrissie0707 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Apr 2019 at 5:43pm
I feel for those who aren’t getting quality feedback. In seven rounds of comps here, I’ve never had the experience. (Yet?) 

Favorite on the positive side:  

The introduction is very creative and funny regarding how disappointing it is to be a vampire. The comedic premise of a vampire too squeamish to draw blood is nicely woven throughout the crime caper, and suits the character Mitch, who is very well developed. Well written with excellent use of descriptive and evocative language to describe the characters and environment.  

Every story I’ve submitted here has received positive feedback about my descriptive writing, which I’ve always felt is my strong suit. 

And on the constructive side:

 It would be great to see a transformation occur for the main character. As is, he remains the same old nerdy Mitch throughout the story. You might try to surprise your audience, accustomed to him being awkward and skittish, by having Mitch do a 180 when he's backed into a corner. You might try to take this opportunity to take a different course for the protagonist. Perhaps the officer ignores his pleas to not tell his mom and pulls out his radio. At that moment, Mitch strikes, biting the officer, thereby taking care of all of his problems.  

I had some similiar suggestions in forum feedback (I owe you, Trey!).

Sorry to get a little wordy and rambly; I just received the contributor’s proof of my first story to be published and it’s a little surreal. 
FFC#1 - Green Thumb
Back to Top
 Post Reply Post Reply Page  <1234 5>
  Share Topic   

Forum Jump Forum Permissions View Drop Down

Forum Software by Web Wiz Forums® version 12.01
Copyright ©2001-2018 Web Wiz Ltd.

This page was generated in 0.078 seconds.