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Victimized by a Nasty Drive-by Review? Take Heart.

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Noel Alcoba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Noel Alcoba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Feb 2019 at 12:18pm
Truth be told, history is full of amazing, prolific writers who were a-holes that did not give $#*t about what people thought.

Writers come in every color of emotional temperament.  Thank goodness.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Tim G Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Feb 2019 at 12:21pm
Originally posted by Noel Alcoba Noel Alcoba wrote:

Truth be told, history is full of amazing, prolific writers who were a-holes that did not give $#*t about what people thought.

Writers come in every color of emotional temperament.  Thank goodness.

Yeah, like that Stephen Matlock guy... just walks around picking fights.


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[yes, joke]
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Noel Alcoba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Noel Alcoba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Feb 2019 at 12:41pm
Originally posted by Tim G Tim G wrote:

Originally posted by Noel Alcoba Noel Alcoba wrote:

Truth be told, history is full of amazing, prolific writers who were a-holes that did not give $#*t about what people thought.

Writers come in every color of emotional temperament.  Thank goodness.

Yeah, like that Stephen Matlock guy... just walks around picking fights.


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[yes, joke]

Who doesn't?

Wanna start something, huh, tough guy?

LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (10) Thanks(10)   Quote nixie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Feb 2019 at 1:07pm
Thanks Eggy for a lovely summary.

Yes, Noel, it takes all kinds, and only the intentionally malicious have ever been un-welcomed. We work hard here to gently point out to someone if they might be inadvertently trampling someone - and even the ones who dont care about such things generally make an effort not to be horrid to others once "horrid" is defined or explained. When they don't, some kind soul reaches out to reassure the new kids that they are ok and dont need to take any horrid to heart. It's a lovely bit of family we have here.

While I agree that Zelda's comments were inappropriate, inapplicable, and thoroughly out of line, we also know that Zelds is usually a very nice gal. Obviously she is going through something at the moment, and taking some of it out here. I hope that when the Zelda we have come to know returns, her apologies will met with grace.

It *does seem like time, perhaps, to retire this thread.  Perhaps we should all grab a cuppa and watch that Stephen Matlock go pick a fight? ( thank you for the roflmao moment! Knowing him here would have been enough, but since I am fortunate enough to be acquainted with him IRL, and know that he is actually kinder than he seems even here on the forum, that was about the funniest damn thing I have read all year!)

And Nick...dont change. We love you just the way you are.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (12) Thanks(12)   Quote PennyForThem Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 2019 at 1:01am
In amongst the kerfuffle and din
Be discerning about what you take in.
Take what helps you improve,
Or keeps you in your groove,
The rest, you should just toss in the bin.

We can't control what has been said,
Much less how it's been read.
So make self-control,
Your ultimate goal,
When deciding what stays in your head.

Heart



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote SLK43 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 2019 at 1:20am
Originally posted by PennyForThem PennyForThem wrote:

In amongst the kerfuffle and din
Be discerning about what you take in.
Take what helps you improve,
Or keeps you in your groove,
The rest, you should just toss in the bin.

We can't control what has been said,
Much less how it's been read.
So make self-control,
Your ultimate goal,
When deciding what stays in your head.

Heart

HeartHeart


Edited by SLK43 - 09 Feb 2019 at 2:31am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (9) Thanks(9)   Quote orion323 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 2019 at 4:23pm
At the risk of losing my one-star bad Yelp review NYC status, I'm going to respond to this fashionably late.  I've been ruminating on it for a few days and it's still sticking in my craw, so it's Festivus time.

I only speak for myself (as a perpetual peripheral in most social circles and virtually all social media formats) but I'd like to think there are more of us 'never-nudes' that log on anonymously...sitting up in the nosebleed seats drinking cheap beer thinking WTF is going on with these train tracks tho.  And maybe this is for them.  At least I can finally let it go.

This round is my 4th time competing in this NYC venue.  I'm noticing that, like the seasons, there seems to be a cycle in this forum.  Strangely, alternate versions of this thread have popped up every single time (although I think one year it was a poll on how to handle a bad review).  

Thankfully, this year Mattrick is not the person of interest.  He was a bonafide grade A dick and seemed to get off on it.  I'm not sure who this new person is, but if they are (as some of you have suggested) basically and openly here to foment misery, then I say name them.  Period.  No running to the NYC people, no dm's, no whispered innuendos, no going through every response to every story to find Colonel Mustard.  If they want to be an a-hole, then they should wear and own that scarlet A.  It also prevents the unnecessary self flagellating of people who think they may be the ones in the crosshairs.

An unfortunate by-product of these threads is what always seems to turn out to be a "thicken your skin, man up, dog eat dog world" approach and then the necessary flip side of people fighting that advice.

I read with interest the Myers-Briggs thread which actually made this all make more sense to me.  I'm 100% INFP (first suicide attempt at 8 years old...this world is nasty business for most of us).  I have decided that being in this world-but not of it- is the only way to survive the sharp edges.  It appears that those of you in the corporate/professional sector were the most stymied by this particular thread.  And I will put this out there:  you speak/write differently.  In a tone that probably/necessarily has to convey some type of professionalism or authority in your everyday work life.

As somebody who- thankfully-  gets to work from home in Star Wars pajamas with a host of animals at my feet- it can be jarring for those of us not accustomed to being addressed in that manner.  I think that's where a lot of this confusion is rooted.

Two cents for what it's worth

Now for the airing of grievances part.  Every goddamned time there is always always a subconversation in these threads about how to "handle bad stories" and the condescension effing drives me up the wall.  It's the main reason I'm responding to this because I cannot stand the corduroy elbow pad pipe-smoking tut-tutting anymore.  I try to make a point of reading as many stories as I can each round and will typically dm feedback to those who write stories that really get me.  I can honestly say I have not read a single story that did not have at least one moment of sheer brilliance.  As an outsider, reading a public conversation between people poo pooing what they consider to be bad stories and how to possibly stoop so low as to commit the time to address them is extremely off putting.  It's the main reason (other than the random point/star system that seemingly gives some members here some unmerited sense of authority or skill) that I don't post on here at all.  Maybe others feel that way too and that is why each consecutive round there are now fewer stories being posted.  

This is a $55 writing contest.  Not a Pulitzer Prize final round.  Your odds can equally grant you Romance-Dancing-Chocolates as they would Spy-Ass boil lancing-tampon dispenser.

Ease up with the hierarchy and pretension.  Studies are now showing that success in life is more determined by luck than skill.  The best writers I've ever known were homeless and they wrote because it was something they needed to do.  

For any of you who log on anonymously and are weaving back and forth in front of the jumprope of this forum trying to decide whether or not to jump in....who may have decided finally to do something more than write in a cheap notebook while you're driving...whose kids may have grown up or given you a gift of signing up for this competition or maybe you're going through a divorce.  f**k- even those of you who just want to feel like you're a part of something brighter than the sh*t show that keeps tumbling out of clown cars every day all around us...and you feel like this forum is maybe a little too sharp edged?

I would be thrilled and honored to read your story and find those moments of brilliance so maybe you can lift your head a little higher in the wind.  You can always pm me.

As Ram Dass once said:  we are all just walking eachother home




Edited by orion323 - 09 Feb 2019 at 4:25pm
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JingleBells View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JingleBells Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 2019 at 5:29pm
And here was me thinking this was a forum where we could all just post our stories, if we wish, and have our fellow writers review them, if they wish. Whilst being invited to read and review theirs.  I am really having second thoughts about posting any further stories on the forum.  I just never realised how I and my fellow writers were being perceived as some kind of privileged corporate world up ourselves destroyers of creative potential, purely because we enjoy this forum. That description is way off base in my case,  and I'd imagine,  many others on this forum. 
As far as naming and shaming a fellow writer on a public forum and inviting others to pile on because you didn't appreciate their review,  well wow!   That has a real "Mean Girls" flavour to it. 
Reviews are subjective evaluations of one person's thoughts on your writing.  Respond to the review on your own thread. Call out the reviewer on your own thread and you might even get support from other writers. Their review is open to review.  Do it there and then. You can't expect everybody to review the same way, particularly as we are overwhelmingly novices in this game. You do you.
I wish I'd never read and responded to this thread earlier. I enjoy reading and reviewing,  but I think I'm going to enjoy it a lot less now, and probably reconsider doing it at all.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Alex Grey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 2019 at 6:29pm
Originally posted by JingleBells JingleBells wrote:

And here was me thinking this was a forum where we could all just post our stories, if we wish, and have our fellow writers review them, if they wish. Whilst being invited to read and review theirs.  I am really having second thoughts about posting any further stories on the forum.  I just never realised how I and my fellow writers were being perceived as some kind of privileged corporate world up ourselves destroyers of creative potential, purely because we enjoy this forum. That description is way off base in my case,  and I'd imagine,  many others on this forum. 
As far as naming and shaming a fellow writer on a public forum and inviting others to pile on because you didn't appreciate their review,  well wow!   That has a real "Mean Girls" flavour to it. 
Reviews are subjective evaluations of one person's thoughts on your writing.  Respond to the review on your own thread. Call out the reviewer on your own thread and you might even get support from other writers. Their review is open to review.  Do it there and then. You can't expect everybody to review the same way, particularly as we are overwhelmingly novices in this game. You do you.
I wish I'd never read and responded to this thread earlier. I enjoy reading and reviewing,  but I think I'm going to enjoy it a lot less now, and probably reconsider doing it at all.


Oh no, please don't give up on the forum - I've only just joined and I value your company in my heat, the wit of your writing and the generosity of your review. Please stay.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (3) Thanks(3)   Quote sootfoot5 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Feb 2019 at 6:48pm
Well, I was just wondering why no one had named the elephant in the room, especially when Zelda got so upset about it, and I was going to do it for her sake if for nothing else, but reading Jingle Bells's post two up, I won't say it.  I like and respect Jingle Bells too much and want to show her that we want her to keep posting.  

That being said, the forum isn't usually like this BUT it NEEDED to be like this -- this year.  There was something serious happening to too many people, and without people raising cain about it and posting on the offending writer's story site, nothing would have been done.  

So Jingle, I'm not naming because of you, because I want you to keep posting. And know this:  all that has been done has been done to protect those who couldn't help themselves.  You and I can, but not all are able at this point in their writing career.  They lack the confidence, and they need our support, however we give it, to let them know that we won't tolerate one person tearing them apart.  

PM me privately if you wish.  Soot
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