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    Posted: 04 Dec 2018 at 4:28pm
Ladies...what kind of comments/actions from men at work set your teeth on edge without crossing the line into territory where you feel compelled to do something about it?  More along the line of low level annoyances that give people reputations but don't result in burning at the stake.

This is for a project I'm working on, of course.

"I'm a writer.  Anything you say might end up in a story some day"
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote manifestlynot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Dec 2018 at 6:56pm
GREAT question!

1. “That’s not important right now.” To a point that I feel is VERY important, and when a man brings it up in 30 minutes, it’s agreed to be very important.

2. General mansplaining. Using oversimplified language to explain what I just said, back to me.

3. Using a woman as a buffer to another woman. See: “special prosecutor for the Kavanaugh hearing” as an example.

4. “I don’t know how she does it.” Mostly said by husbands about their wives. I’ll tell you how she does it - she gets less sleep, takes less time for herself, has more responsibilities, and complains less. That’s how she does it. (Also in this category is referring to a dad watching his children as “babysitting.”)

5. Asking a female colleague at the same professional level to take care of office housekeeping (party planning, ordering lunch for clients, cleaning, etc)

If you’re looking for coded raunchy comments, that’s a whole new list, lol.


Edited by manifestlynot - 04 Dec 2018 at 6:59pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote MissKeister Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Dec 2018 at 6:56pm
Any repeated action will set me to saying something, if it goes on long enough!  It also depends on the man.  I'll be much more with a man I'm friends with touching my arm (shoulder, whatever) than some guy I don't know well.  

One that got to me though was never calling me by my name.  It was always something cutesie, too.  Got me on the 'wrong' day and I gave him the "Tootsie" speech almost verbatim -- and whaddya know, he never called me a cutesie thing again!

I recommend watching "Tootsie" for research if you haven't seen it yet. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote manifestlynot Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Dec 2018 at 7:00pm
Originally posted by MissKeister MissKeister wrote:

Any repeated action will set me to saying something, if it goes on long enough!  It also depends on the man.  I'll be much more with a man I'm friends with touching my arm (shoulder, whatever) than some guy I don't know well.  

One that got to me though was never calling me by my name.  It was always something cutesie, too.  Got me on the 'wrong' day and I gave him the "Tootsie" speech almost verbatim -- and whaddya know, he never called me a cutesie thing again!

I recommend watching "Tootsie" for research if you haven't seen it yet. 

Yup the name thing!! “Sweetie” or “babe” are common offenders.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote MissKeister Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Dec 2018 at 7:24pm
Oh, another!

I've had men say (several times... but women too) it's great I work but really I should be home with my children.

Do I have children?  No.

Do I want them?  Yes.

Will I stay home with my children?  Hopefully I'm in the financial place to do that, but I may also want to work at least part time to get out of the house.

Is it their business?  Nooooooo.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Random Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Dec 2018 at 8:11pm
Originally posted by MissKeister MissKeister wrote:

Any repeated action will set me to saying something, if it goes on long enough!  It also depends on the man.  I'll be much more with a man I'm friends with touching my arm (shoulder, whatever) than some guy I don't know well.  

One that got to me though was never calling me by my name.  It was always something cutesie, too.  Got me on the 'wrong' day and I gave him the "Tootsie" speech almost verbatim -- and whaddya know, he never called me a cutesie thing again!

I recommend watching "Tootsie" for research if you haven't seen it yet. 


Gosh...I haven't seen tootsie in centuries.  I'm not sure talking pictures were invented the last time I watched that.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Random Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Dec 2018 at 8:12pm
Originally posted by manifestlynot manifestlynot wrote:

GREAT question!

1. “That’s not important right now.” To a point that I feel is VERY important, and when a man brings it up in 30 minutes, it’s agreed to be very important.

2. General mansplaining. Using oversimplified language to explain what I just said, back to me.

3. Using a woman as a buffer to another woman. See: “special prosecutor for the Kavanaugh hearing” as an example.

4. “I don’t know how she does it.” Mostly said by husbands about their wives. I’ll tell you how she does it - she gets less sleep, takes less time for herself, has more responsibilities, and complains less. That’s how she does it. (Also in this category is referring to a dad watching his children as “babysitting.”)

5. Asking a female colleague at the same professional level to take care of office housekeeping (party planning, ordering lunch for clients, cleaning, etc)

If you’re looking for coded raunchy comments, that’s a whole new list, lol.


Coded raunchy comments.  Now I want to start a whole new thread...I've never been good at code (or subtext).  Too much of an engineer.  Just show me the calculation...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Suave Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Dec 2018 at 8:12pm
Originally posted by Random Random wrote:

Ladies...what kind of comments/actions from men at work set your teeth on edge without crossing the line into territory where you feel compelled to do something about it?  More along the line of low level annoyances that give people reputations but don't result in burning at the stake.

This is for a project I'm working on, of course.

"I'm a writer.  Anything you say might end up in a story some day"


We'll just call you "Stir" from this point on.


Edited by Suave - 04 Dec 2018 at 9:27pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Random Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 04 Dec 2018 at 8:31pm
Originally posted by Suave Suave wrote:

Originally posted by Random Random wrote:

Ladies...what kind of comments/actions from men at work set your teeth on edge without crossing the line into territory where you feel compelled to do something about it?  More along the line of low level annoyances that give people reputations but don't result in burning at the stake.

This is for a project I'm working on, of course.

"I'm a writer.  Anything you say might end up in a story some day"


Well just call you "Stir" from this point on.


Hold that thought another day...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote LiseeJD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Dec 2018 at 11:17am
Do you want to ask your husband before agreeing to this?

You look great...considering you've had kids. 

You can always be my milf. 

Babe.

Are you on your period? (when I'm naggy about something.)

Calm down, Goldilocks.





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