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R1,G124 The Match in the Elm Ghost Story

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Amanda from Canada View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Amanda from Canada Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: R1,G124 The Match in the Elm Ghost Story
    Posted: 22 Nov 2022 at 4:50pm

Killing the budgie had been easy. The pleasure not in the act but in the sense of power that arose from it. Now buried in the compost pile, the bird would decay, returning to nothing. Like it had never existed. Mara pulled up her socks, forcing them over her knees. She hated them, the skin mottled with little veins. She grabbed her backpack, ran out the door. As if the killing had never happened. As if the budgie had never lived. Mara dawdled her way to the bus stop, reviewing her morning’s achievement. No more noisy bird. No more pathetic imitations of her speech. She felt strangely light-headed. Maybe she should have eaten breakfast. Suddenly, a giant force of hot wind swept across her. She fell to the ground, then heard what sounded like her own voice from up above in the elm: ‘Up here, Mara. It’s you. I am the you that could be, and I know what you did. And so do you. As of this moment, it’s like you never existed. Your life never happened. The budgie will rise again. But you won’t.’ Struggling to raise her head, Mara looked up at what she knew shouldn’t be real but seemed like it might be — mottled knees, so ugly and familiar; that voice — and knew she’d met her match. She whispered, ‘I give up my power. Forgive me my sin,’ but Mara was talking to herself. Literally. And she had never been a good listener. 

Amanda from Canada
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Mrsnetpro View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Mrsnetpro Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 Nov 2022 at 5:42pm
You want to move this to the specific thread, the one at the top for MF250 Smile
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stellajaye View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stellajaye Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 Nov 2022 at 8:18pm
Yes, like the other poster said, move this to the 250MF thread. But, I had to read this a few times to appreciate it, but the more I read it, the more I like it. I think part of my struggle is that I'm not sure what your prompt was ... I like when the submissions list out the components of the assignment. It helps understand the motivation of the decisions and how the themes and words/actions were incorporated. There's a haunting beauty to the words, and the last line is great. I don't think you needed the word literally in there, but otherwise awesome. Nice job.

Edited by stellajaye - 23 Nov 2022 at 8:19pm
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