Round 3 thoughts? Possible title/logline
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Forum Name: Screenwriting Bar & Lounge
Forum Description: Discuss NYC Midnight Screenwriting Competitions or Screenwriting in general.
URL: https://forums.nycmidnight.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=37872
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Topic: Round 3 thoughts? Possible title/logline
Posted By: TheMarkCooper
Subject: Round 3 thoughts? Possible title/logline
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 2:58am
How is everyone feeling? Thought I'd be used to it by now, but nope. Still stressful. For the first time though, I feel alright. I hope that's not a sign. Say no to opposite day, amirite?
Anyways, hope everyone had fun. Looking forward to reading and sharing.
I've never started a thread, but if we can post title and logline here, let me know and I will add mine.
Good luck everyone,
Mark Cooper
Edited to add mine: I also, like others, spent all day Saturday thinking of and rejecting ideas and didn't sit down to write til Sunday. I ended up only having to do a few rewrites as I was barely over 5 pages in my first draft. Had to cut a few lines and adjust some settings and I was A OK. Looking forward to round 4, whether I am in it or not. Overall this has been a fun and challenging experience.
A PAPER CUT AND THE CONSPIRACY OF RAVENS
Russell is enamored by the new farmhand next door. Will his eager advances sow the seeds of love or scare her into taking flight?
------------- ShScreenplay https://bit.ly/3slc5Ci" rel="nofollow - FairyTale / https://bit.ly/2LM8xbp" rel="nofollow - Rom Com ShStory2021=Suspense
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Replies:
Posted By: BarbaraFL
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 6:25am
I found it so hard to be funny and light given last week's US events...and I dread rom com anyway and it was the second time I got it in this competition this year...ugh.
So, it was rough. What I ended up with is pretty boring, but given how I struggled with coming up with anything, boring is ok! But I so wish NYC Midnight would give me something other than rom com.
Group 8: rom com/a rural road/a bird
Bad Lovely Road
Why did the sloth cross the road? To get Tina a boyfriend.
Edited to add: some of the fun of these for me is that I freak out about a genre thinking I can't come up with anything and then am forced to come up with something (or bail, which I have done). Just love the challenge of it all.
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Posted By: BlackGate
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 7:05am
Group 3 - Suspense / Repair Shop / Bottle of Champagne
Final Transmission
An old TV has reached the end of the road. Other appliances in the repair shop have a different opinion.
BG
------------- Micro 250 R1 - The Iron Harvest https://forums.nycmidnight.com/topic51650_post547077.html#547077" rel="nofollow - Micro 250 R2 - The Phantom
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Posted By: alexdsut
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 7:27am
Group 2: Ghost Story / A Dust Storm / A Briefcase
HIGHWAY OF DEATH
On a lonely stretch of barren highway, a shady arms dealer faces the sins of his -- and his county's -- past.
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Well, I'm confident that, for once, I've used all 3 prompts properly without taking the mick at all. Maybe.
------------- https://bit.ly/3T6zkvV" rel="nofollow - SSC C3 https://bit.ly/3Sh2x81" rel="nofollow - SSC C2 https://bit.ly/3OzQRdZ" rel="nofollow - SC Final
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Posted By: emad
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 7:39am
Group 2: Ghost Story / A Dust Storm / A Briefcase
I have to say that I found this prompt very challenging! I spent all day Saturday just brainstorming ideas, rejecting them as soon as I thought of them. Thankfully, I was able to come up with something. But, a dust storm, AH!
"Only God Can Help You Now" Logline: The Dust Bowl continues to ravage the Southern Plains. The dust obliterated Jaxon Moore’s crops and his hopes of saving his farm, and he will have his revenge, in this life or in the next.
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Posted By: catnamedeaster
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 8:10am
Group 7 - Drama / A classroom / A pear
In the Gardens of Memory
A woman learns a few things while visiting her grandmother with Alzheimer's.
I felt I kind of lucked out with these prompts, although I didn't go with a traditional classroom for my setting and wonder if it will cost me.
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Posted By: pondsandfrogs
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 10:27am
Group 8 - Romantic comedy / A rural road / A bird
Take the Money and Run A robber gets more than what she prayed for when she meets a strange priest who offers to help her (and her parrot) out after a car accident in the middle of the Utah desert.
First time ever being assigned rom-com for an NYCM challenge, and I felt a little lucky. Friday night, I decided to re-watch Some Like It Hot (Billy Wilder) before receiving the midnight prompt. So getting rom-com felt like I manifested that for myself
I had fun writing it, that's all I can ask for. Very excited to be reading everyone's forum submissions!
------------- -EJ http://bit.ly/3PFERe9" rel="nofollow - Moves Like (Diet) Mick Jagger Screenplay G31 (RomCom) https://bit.ly/3Efoa1L" rel="nofollow - All my NYCM entries :)
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Posted By: ReneC
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 12:24pm
Group 1 - Horror/A quarry/Energy drink
BENEATH THE SURFACE
An awkward trip to a quarry lake becomes a nightmare for
a group of teens when a strange boy appears.
I decided to do a horror with a ghost, even though Ghost Story is its own genre. The setting inspired me, I just had to make it not like Stranger Things.
I bit off more than I could chew though. The story I came up with was going to be about ten pages. I cut a character out, shaved off some beats, and my first draft was still over seven pages. It took a lot of tightening and carefully shaving off a few more beats to get it to exactly 5 pages with no time to spare.
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Posted By: weebil
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 12:55pm
Group 8 - RomCom/A Rural Road / A bird (and, I might add, a lot of heat mates here already!) The Vulture Club When a group of single ladies in rural Kansas gather weekly to swap Internet dating tips, they discover that sometimes the best connections are the ones you've already made.
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Posted By: manifestlynot
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 1:11pm
This round was good for me. First time ever getting drama, and all my original ideas kept verging on suspense, so finding the right tone was tricky. I didn't actually write anything until Sunday afternoon, but it came pretty easy when it did. Semi-finals are my favorite round - such great writing to read, lots of representation in each heat, and fewer prompts to keep track of!
Group 7 - Drama/Classroom/A Pear
A Failure
High school student Ray struggles to focus in class. Can his teachers give him the attention he needs to be successful?
------------- Rhyming R1: https://forums.nycmidnight.com/topic51185_post541412.html#541412" rel="nofollow - Lionheart (Hist fic)
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Posted By: fioOxf
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 1:22pm
Group 3 Suspense / a repair shop / a bottle of champagne
The Last Gift for Milena Milena has been receiving alarming packages. Fortunately, an attentive detective is on the case.
I had not at all expected to make it thru, so had very little time for this. Bit peed off to get a shop for the 5th time in NYCM comps, but hey. Plus, I got 'suspense' in the Flash semis, and bailed, after a self-confidence crash and convincing myself I couldn't write suspense. Oh, Karma... Major tussles with both time and self-belief later, I managed to agree with myself that I'd feel even crapper if I didn't submit something. So this is a 6-hour rush job. We'll see. I wanted to go wacky, quirky (my go-to), fantasy or sci-fi - so this is classic black and white (but colour in the last scene) Hitchcock-nod. (I should have had him pass by the shop. Damn.) Ah well.
Look forward to reading some brilliant scripts, in a few days' time. Best of luck, all.
------------- http://tinyurl.com/yawmb6cy" rel="nofollow - SSC R1 Out With the Broke and In with... (PolSat) http://tinyurl.com/2hcv7m2d" rel="nofollow - Rhyming R2 Aging's a B... (FT)
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Posted By: jmkeller
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 1:25pm
Last round my first sci-fi, this round my first horror! One of the reasons I'm so happy to have found this contest - pushes me to try new things and keep learning :)
Group 1 - Horror / A quarry / An energy drink
BONE DEEP
An easy night shift for two friends turns into a deadly nightmare that will leave a lasting grudge.
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Posted By: thejamesandrews
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 2:06pm
Group 9: Comedy / A courtyard / A printer
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Takeover Members of a militia try to maintain their armed occupation of a state park gift shop, but a malfunctioning printer may prove to be their downfall.
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Oof. This was the first prompt that truly stumped me. I couldn't come up with any ideas I liked until ~2.5 hours before midnight on Sunday. I took some frustrated inspiration from current events and banged this one out for an 11:59pm submission. It's probably the worst script I've submitted to an NYCMidnight contest, but it'll have to do!
------------- SC21 R1 G69: https://bit.ly/31LAdlH" rel="nofollow - Hammurabi SSC20 R3 G9: http://bit.ly/3oOm1SG" rel="nofollow - Takeover
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Posted By: BlackGate
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 2:34pm
fioOxf wrote:
Group 3 Suspense / a repair shop / a bottle of champagne
The Last Gift for Milena Milena has been receiving alarming packages. Fortunately, an attentive detective is on the case.
I had not at all expected to make it thru, so had very little time for this. Bit peed off to get a shop for the 5th time in NYCM comps, but hey. Plus, I got 'suspense' in the Flash semis, and bailed, after a self-confidence crash and convincing myself I couldn't write suspense. Oh, Karma... Major tussles with both time and self-belief later, I managed to agree with myself that I'd feel even crapper if I didn't submit something. So this is a 6-hour rush job. We'll see. I wanted to go wacky, quirky (my go-to), fantasy or sci-fi - so this is classic black and white (but colour in the last scene) Hitchcock-nod. (I should have had him pass by the shop. Damn.) Ah well.
Look forward to reading some brilliant scripts, in a few days' time. Best of luck, all.
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Hi heatmate! That's the way it goes sometimes, but the best writing can come from this sort of start.
Suspense is pretty hard, I've done quite well with a couple of stories that I never thought were suspense (my entry this time is another one!), and also crashed with a couple I was convinced had nailed it.
Same with drama. I often just write the story that wants to be written on the day, and kinda tie it to the genre, but not slavishly. I think the judges prefer something a little different in round 3 - usually everyone is able to write at this point.
Good luck, looking forward to reading your script!
BG
------------- Micro 250 R1 - The Iron Harvest https://forums.nycmidnight.com/topic51650_post547077.html#547077" rel="nofollow - Micro 250 R2 - The Phantom
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Posted By: fioOxf
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 2:40pm
BlackGate wrote:
fioOxf wrote:
Group 3 Suspense / a repair shop / a bottle of champagne
The Last Gift for Milena Milena has been receiving alarming packages. Fortunately, an attentive detective is on the case.
I had not at all expected to make it thru, so had very little time for this. Bit peed off to get a shop for the 5th time in NYCM comps, but hey. Plus, I got 'suspense' in the Flash semis, and bailed, after a self-confidence crash and convincing myself I couldn't write suspense. Oh, Karma... Major tussles with both time and self-belief later, I managed to agree with myself that I'd feel even crapper if I didn't submit something. So this is a 6-hour rush job. We'll see. I wanted to go wacky, quirky (my go-to), fantasy or sci-fi - so this is classic black and white (but colour in the last scene) Hitchcock-nod. (I should have had him pass by the shop. Damn.) Ah well.
Look forward to reading some brilliant scripts, in a few days' time. Best of luck, all.
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Hi heatmate! That's the way it goes sometimes, but the best writing can come from this sort of start.
Suspense is pretty hard, I've done quite well with a couple of stories that I never thought were suspense (my entry this time is another one!), and also crashed with a couple I was convinced had nailed it.
Same with drama. I often just write the story that wants to be written on the day, and kinda tie it to the genre, but not slavishly. I think the judges prefer something a little different in round 3 - usually everyone is able to write at this point.
Good luck, looking forward to reading your script!
BG
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Hey there, heatmate! I got Drama FIVE times in 2020..... like I needed more drama in my life, hehehe. But did pretty well with them. I've tended to get drama, comedy and rom-com, over the last 12 months (with a pol-sat and ghost, thrown in, in Short Screenplay), but the tropes or genre structures for those are easier to fit into 5 pages. 'Gradual' is hard in 5 pages But hey, it's done. I didn't expect to be in challenge 3, so am relieved I managed to submit something. Your script will be first on my reading list. Can't wait. These next two days will feel very long! (They were a day early with Flash...).
------------- http://tinyurl.com/yawmb6cy" rel="nofollow - SSC R1 Out With the Broke and In with... (PolSat) http://tinyurl.com/2hcv7m2d" rel="nofollow - Rhyming R2 Aging's a B... (FT)
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Posted By: dias
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 3:31pm
Thanks for starting this thread! I was in Group 4 (historical fiction/football or soccer field/wad of cash)
I've had historical fiction a few times, and I always fall into the trap of trying to write a history documentary :S The genre and the sporting prompt also meant I leaned into my love of montages
The Rise and Fall of the Beautiful Game
In the midst of World War One, a sporting phenomenon arises among England's female factory workers. But no-one predicts how quickly it will all come crashing down.
------------- All my stories are https://tinyurl.com/3uvvk4s2" rel="nofollow - here!
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Posted By: Joni
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 5:42pm
Group 1 - horror/quarry/energy drink
Quarry Bombs
A night of partying at a rock quarry leads to the discovery of a dead body, but it's only the first death of the night.
This one was weird for me. I love horror, but usually supernatural or ones that allude to death without showing it. I killed a lot of people this weekend and felt quite icky about it. Hoping it's a decent horror!
------------- R2 - https://shorturl.at/fFP12" rel="nofollow - Race to the Tomato Plant
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Posted By: Joni
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 5:45pm
ReneC wrote:
Group 1 - Horror/A quarry/Energy drink
BENEATH THE SURFACE
An awkward trip to a quarry lake becomes a nightmare for
a group of teens when a strange boy appears.
I decided to do a horror with a ghost, even though Ghost Story is its own genre. The setting inspired me, I just had to make it not like Stranger Things.
I bit off more than I could chew though. The story I came up with was going to be about ten pages. I cut a character out, shaved off some beats, and my first draft was still over seven pages. It took a lot of tightening and carefully shaving off a few more beats to get it to exactly 5 pages with no time to spare. |
Hi heatmate! This sounds great, and also made me so glad I didn't go with the quarry lake option! Although I do still have the partying teenagers in mine as well lol. Can't wait to read yours!
------------- R2 - https://shorturl.at/fFP12" rel="nofollow - Race to the Tomato Plant
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Posted By: JCardello
Date Posted: 11 Jan 2021 at 10:36pm
This was the toughest round i've done, and I felt completely drained after hitting the submit button.
My genre was sci-fi, the location was an amusement park, and the object was a snake.
To be honest, i breathed a sigh of relief for not getting political satire.
Usually I have the idea for my story in place by lunch time on Saturday. For this round I didn't have it until 9:30 at night. I finally just picked on idea and went with it, cranking out a rough draft by 11:00pm that Saturday night.
I was having major writer's block. Once I started to loosen up and just have fun with the freedom that comes with that genre, I got past it. Sunday was a better day of writing, and changed things up quite a few time.
This is the most bonkers story I've written. But in the end, I really gave it my all.
------------- Check out my CH3 screenplay https://forums.nycmidnight.com/topic37923_post400490.html" rel="nofollow - A Ticket to Bliss
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Posted By: ReneC
Date Posted: 12 Jan 2021 at 12:05am
Joni wrote:
ReneC wrote:
Group 1 - Horror/A quarry/Energy drink
BENEATH THE SURFACE
An awkward trip to a quarry lake becomes a nightmare for
a group of teens when a strange boy appears.
I decided to do a horror with a ghost, even though Ghost Story is its own genre. The setting inspired me, I just had to make it not like Stranger Things.
I bit off more than I could chew though. The story I came up with was going to be about ten pages. I cut a character out, shaved off some beats, and my first draft was still over seven pages. It took a lot of tightening and carefully shaving off a few more beats to get it to exactly 5 pages with no time to spare. |
Hi heatmate! This sounds great, and also made me so glad I didn't go with the quarry lake option! Although I do still have the partying teenagers in mine as well lol. Can't wait to read yours! |
Hiya back, heatmate! I tend to kill a lot of people and had planned to, but I decided to lean into character a bit more this time which didn't leave much time for all the deaths. I even had to cut a death out by the end. Yours sounds right up my alley, can't wait to read it.
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Posted By: efish
Date Posted: 12 Jan 2021 at 2:56am
Group 8 RomCom Rural Road A bird
Romcom for the 2nd time in 3 rounds. Grrrrrrr... I’m fearing the judges may rule that this is more drama with a comedic tone as my humour never strays from dark and dry. But I did enjoy the characters, so that was fun.
‘Lovebirds’ After a near fatal collision, a couple’s relationship blossoms into something rather unexpected
Edward
------------- R4 SSP https://forums.nycmidnight.com/ch4-play-time_topic39129.html" rel="nofollow - Play Time R3SSP https://forums.nycmidnight.com/topic37910_post400374.html#400374" rel="nofollow - Lovebirds
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Posted By: fioOxf
Date Posted: 12 Jan 2021 at 7:58am
efish wrote:
Group 8RomCom Rural Road A bird
Romcom for the 2nd time in 3 rounds. Grrrrrrr... I’m fearing the judges may rule that this is more drama with a comedic tone as my humour never strays from dark and dry. But I did enjoy the characters, so that was fun.
‘Lovebirds’ After a near fatal collision, a couple’s relationship blossoms into something rather unexpected
Edward
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I'd willingly have swapped both pol-sat (ch1) and suspense (ch3) for rom-com.... Mind you, I enjoyed pol-sat, but it's got a limited scope, particularly in a world where it's hard to satirise what is already a surreal parody.
------------- http://tinyurl.com/yawmb6cy" rel="nofollow - SSC R1 Out With the Broke and In with... (PolSat) http://tinyurl.com/2hcv7m2d" rel="nofollow - Rhyming R2 Aging's a B... (FT)
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Posted By: TheMarkCooper
Date Posted: 12 Jan 2021 at 3:27pm
fioOxf wrote:
Mind you, I enjoyed pol-sat, but it's got a limited scope, particularly in a world where it's hard to satirise what is already a surreal parody.
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Seriously..... I'm so glad I avoided anything political. Now if I could get the mother in law to stop watching the news 24-7....
------------- ShScreenplay https://bit.ly/3slc5Ci" rel="nofollow - FairyTale / https://bit.ly/2LM8xbp" rel="nofollow - Rom Com ShStory2021=Suspense
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Posted By: SueSS
Date Posted: 12 Jan 2021 at 7:40pm
Group 3 Suspense / a repair shop / a bottle of champagne
End of Age
When an anti-aging billionaire visits a small backwoods
town, the inhabitants get more than they bargained for.
It's my first time writing in all three genres from this challenge so far (Fantasy, Crime Caper, Suspense). I'm enjoying stepping out of my comfort zone.
------------- https://forums.nycmidnight.com/r2-gr90_topic55056.html" rel="nofollow - FF R2 https://forums.nycmidnight.com/r1-gr4-dream-believe-deceive-crime-caper_topic58514.html" rel="nofollow - SC R1
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Posted By: ruthmac92
Date Posted: 12 Jan 2021 at 11:04pm
Group 8: Rom Com/Rural road/A bird
Oooh lots of group 8ers already! I'm always happy to get a rom com. I wrote this one a bit last minute, but I was pretty happy with it (apart from the logline not being super creative...)
AS THE CROW FLIES When Chloe has a run-in with a bird on an abandoned country road,
help might just come from the place she least expects.
------------- https://forums.nycmidnight.com/topic43277_post451142.html#451142" rel="nofollow - SSC1 SciFi https://forums.nycmidnight.com/ch-2-group-20-nomore-sapiens-polsat_topic44069.html" rel="nofollow - SSC2 PolSat
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Posted By: SamSmith
Date Posted: 12 Jan 2021 at 11:40pm
TITLE: Jiggery-Pokery at the Southern Exposition
LOGLINE: During an expo in 1880s Louisville, a newsboy runs into a persuasive stranger equipped to change the outcome of the young man’s life.
Oh, gosh, where to start? This one was by far my biggest challenge. Historical fiction. I applaud everyone who was able to complete this round after such a whirlwind of a week following the siege at the Capitol and the ever-menacing pandemic. Between all that and having to juggle grad school with freelance work, I had a really tough time pinpointing what my story should be and how much research I could realistically put into it.
I've also never been a team sports fan, so the setting of a football/soccer field was an added challenge. Having to research the history of football *and* life in the 1880s, whew, that was intimidating. On top of that, it wasn't until after I submitted the story I realized I'd made some formatting errors (I didn't provide double spaces before action lines), and there was a typo involving a character's last name I thought I'd changed back. (Grr.) So I've got a lotta thoughts about Round 3.
Anyway, sorry to ramble! I'm ultimately proud of myself and the lot of you for accomplishing this feat, whether it's once or several times over. I'll absolutely sign up for this again, between the thrill of the challenge and reading so many talented writers' work.
------------- SSR1, https://forums.nycmidnight.com/topic52332_post554854.html#554854" rel="nofollow - Among Rescued Souls SSR2, https://forums.nycmidnight.com/topic49697_post524281.html#524281" rel="nofollow - A Royal Sendoff
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Posted By: AndyRoninson
Date Posted: 13 Jan 2021 at 7:51pm
GR. 9 Comedy / A courtyard / A printer
"I Am Trash"
Logline: A mockumentary following a day in the life of New York's dirtiest resident.
(I realize the logline isn't a grammatically complete sentence, but hopefully the judges won't care too much!)
On the one hand, comedy is always a tall order-- hard to be funny when you're told to be funny. On the other hand, I don't envy those of you who got ghost story or political satire. Oof.
Just a cute backstory: I decided to center my story on a character I made up for my 4-year-old niece called "Garbage Monster." It's pretty simple: he's made of garbage, he eats garbage. When I play with her (over Zoom), I'll talk about how I don't want her snack, but I want to eat the plastic wrapper, and she'll say, "Nooooo, you have to eat real food!" And I'll get all grossed out by the normal food. It goes back and forth like that. That's pretty much it, but she loves it.
I use a sort of cliché Italian-New Yorker voice (picture any Martin Scorsese character) when I do it, so I set my screenplay in my hometown with a very specific apartment building courtyard in mind. And I think the mockumentary format must be related to binging The Office before it left Netflix.
Kudos to everyone who completed this! What a joy it is to have an excuse to hide ourselves for a moment and make something! Win or lose, this experience has been 100% rewarding. Such a learning experience!
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