''The
Artist Is Not Present'' by Jennifer Quail -
WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED
ABOUT YOUR STORY - {1942} This horror story uses the elements of mystery,
timing in regards to the door opening and scattered thoughts in a great way.
The structure is also impressive as the paragraphs and one line are separated
to created a nervous pace. This story will certainly intrigue and scare readers.
{1807} The craftsmanship of the prose is very impressive. Your concept is
entertaining and completely original. The level of intrigue steadily builds as
the story progresses. I admire your intelligence and attention to detail. The
descriptions are crisp and visually engaging. I enjoyed experiencing the
erosion of your protagonist's sense of superiority. Very good work. {1504} The prose quality is a plus. The title elicits curiosity. The
protagonist's snide thoughts are entertaining.
WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS
WORK - {1942} The Artist Is Not Present is an interesting concept in
terms of describing Molchalin. Of course, inspired by Marina Abramovic, it took
me some time to remove her from my mind and take in your story. A title change
is certainly not required as it fits the story yet perhaps get a consensus with
other readers and see what they say. This story is worth to have it's own
standing. {1807} I was with this clever story every single step of
the way...until I reached the ending. You've given yourself an incredible
challenge by generating such a high-level of suspense. Without an ending that
is equally surprising and inevitable, the suspense feels overinflated. How does
this ending providing satisfaction and closure? How is it surprising? How is it
inevitable? I'm not sure how you accomplish this exactly, but you have to
devise a conclusion that addresses these classical requirements. (Either that,
or consider this the first chapter in a longer work. The voice of your main
character is so engaging that I think they could sustain a full-length
narrative.) I believe the best way to conclude this story is to have the critic
descend fully into some sort of psychosis wherein they lose the ability to
describe their experience in words. The erosion must become complete, pushing
the critic so far over the edge they can never return. Experiencing the artwork
must cause the critic's reliance on language to vanish completely. What prompts
that shove into madness, only you can decide. {1504} The pace tends
to lag a little. You might reveal some tragedies that supposedly resulted from
visiting the Door installation. I think the ending could have a stronger sense
of resolution.
1807 DOES like to run on, don't they? (They're also wrong. There is no possible ending that lives up to the build-up outside a reader's mind.) As absolutist as they are I'm guessing one of the ones who teaches. Meanwhile 1504 seems to have missed a chunk of the point. About on par for NYCM judges. 1942 seems nice but hung up on the title being an art in-joke (and admit it's a 'take a poll' kind of thing. Based on the number of readers here who got it versus didn't, I don't think it's an issue.)
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