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Moved to Short story 2020 forum

Printed From: NYC Midnight : Creative Writing & Screenwriting
Forum Name: Creative Writing Corner
Forum Description: Discuss NYC Midnight Creative Writing Competitions or Creative Writing in general.
Printed Date: 26 Feb 2021 at 2:01pm
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Topic: Moved to Short story 2020 forum
Posted By: Suave
Subject: Moved to Short story 2020 forum
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2020 at 9:31pm

This has been moved to the Short Story Challenge forum for privacy of the protected part of the forum under "Our feedback made easy to find".

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Posted By: Judy
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2020 at 9:40pm

Moving my reply. 


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Posted By: jennifer.quail
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2020 at 9:41pm

''The Artist Is Not Present'' by Jennifer Quail -  

WHAT THE JUDGES LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY - {1942}  This horror story uses the elements of mystery, timing in regards to the door opening and scattered thoughts in a great way. The structure is also impressive as the paragraphs and one line are separated to created a nervous pace. This story will certainly intrigue and scare readers. 

 {1807}  The craftsmanship of the prose is very impressive. Your concept is entertaining and completely original. The level of intrigue steadily builds as the story progresses. I admire your intelligence and attention to detail. The descriptions are crisp and visually engaging. I enjoyed experiencing the erosion of your protagonist's sense of superiority. Very good work. 

 {1504}  The prose quality is a plus. The title elicits curiosity. The protagonist's snide thoughts are entertaining. 


{1942}  The Artist Is Not Present is an interesting concept in terms of describing Molchalin. Of course, inspired by Marina Abramovic, it took me some time to remove her from my mind and take in your story. A title change is certainly not required as it fits the story yet perhaps get a consensus with other readers and see what they say. This story is worth to have it's own standing.  

{1807}  I was with this clever story every single step of the way...until I reached the ending. You've given yourself an incredible challenge by generating such a high-level of suspense. Without an ending that is equally surprising and inevitable, the suspense feels overinflated. How does this ending providing satisfaction and closure? How is it surprising? How is it inevitable? I'm not sure how you accomplish this exactly, but you have to devise a conclusion that addresses these classical requirements. (Either that, or consider this the first chapter in a longer work. The voice of your main character is so engaging that I think they could sustain a full-length narrative.) I believe the best way to conclude this story is to have the critic descend fully into some sort of psychosis wherein they lose the ability to describe their experience in words. The erosion must become complete, pushing the critic so far over the edge they can never return. Experiencing the artwork must cause the critic's reliance on language to vanish completely. What prompts that shove into madness, only you can decide. 

 {1504}  The pace tends to lag a little. You might reveal some tragedies that supposedly resulted from visiting the Door installation. I think the ending could have a stronger sense of resolution.

1807 DOES like to run on, don't they? (They're also wrong. There is no possible ending that lives up to the build-up outside a reader's mind.) As absolutist as they are I'm guessing one of the ones who teaches.  Meanwhile 1504 seems to have missed a chunk of the point. About on par for NYCM judges. 1942 seems nice but hung up on the title being an art in-joke (and admit it's a 'take a poll' kind of thing. Based on the number of readers here who got it versus didn't, I don't think it's an issue.)

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Posted By: tdeveau
Date Posted: 02 Apr 2020 at 11:54am
oops - just noticed the other thread. Moving my response

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Posted By: coffeeandcookies
Date Posted: 03 Apr 2020 at 3:07am
Hi, where can I find the Short Story 2020 Forum? Is it within these forums or is it on a different website? 

Posted By: Suave
Date Posted: 03 Apr 2020 at 6:55am
Originally posted by coffeeandcookies coffeeandcookies wrote:

Hi, where can I find the Short Story 2020 Forum? Is it within these forums or is it on a different website? 

If you go to the top of the page here you will see "creative writing corner" click on it and then you will see "sub forums" Click on the "short story challenge 2020 review"  and you will there find what you are looking for!

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