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Introvert vs Extrovert

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Random Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2019 at 9:23am
Originally posted by dashesndots dashesndots wrote:

I am very much an introvert.  I am the same as you chrissie, I don't find online interactions draining in the slightest (well, most of the time, ha)


I never socialized as a child, so even on-line I have to manually do the kind of social filtering most people do instinctively.  It's still tiring, but not as much because the non-verbal cues get taken out of the mix and there are only words to worry about.  It also helps to re-read when you think you're saying and see if there's a better way...or if it shoudln't be said at all...

The best way I've been able to describe it is being around people, for me, is like learning a new language for you.  That's how hard I have to think.


Edited by Random - 31 Jan 2019 at 9:25am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote Dekay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2019 at 9:28am
I do not consider forums highly social. I get to come and go as I please without any social boundaries and protocols other than being polite and respectful. If this is a social gathering, it is the only one I can enjoy without stress. If it is a social gathering, then darn you extroverts for tricking me! 

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote beadbalm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2019 at 9:29am
Originally posted by Random Random wrote:

Originally posted by dashesndots dashesndots wrote:

I am very much an introvert.  I am the same as you chrissie, I don't find online interactions draining in the slightest (well, most of the time, ha)


I never socialized as a child, so even on-line I have to manually do the kind of social filtering most people do instinctively.  It's still tiring, but not as much because the non-verbal cues get taken out of the mix and there are only words to worry about.  It also helps to re-read when you think you're saying and see if there's a better way...or if it shoudln't be said at all...

The best way I've been able to describe it is being around people, for me, is like learning a new language for you.  That's how hard I have to think.

Yep. Social language is a learned language. Some days it is loosely translated as a Chinese/Russian hybrid and some days it is closer to French. Just depends. Generally, I just translate for me and the small people in my life. I think that Silicon Valley could hire me to stand at the end of corridors and make sure everyone can understand each other.  Then I would take a nap.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MissMoosie Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2019 at 9:31am
I'm a manager at work, and exhausted when I get home.  Company picnics and parties destroy me; it can take two days to recover.  I'll get manic (usually during a contest) and hang out here for a couple weeks, but then I need six months away to get over it.

     

[/QUOTE]


I'm not a manager, but I have to talk through and present ideas, and I hate it. I'm freelance, but have become an expert liar, convincing everyone that I'm not cripplingly shy and augmenting it with stories about why I'm too busy [too anxious] to go to the glitzy events they attend.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Random Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2019 at 9:34am
Originally posted by beadbalm beadbalm wrote:

Yep. Social language is a learned language. Some days it is loosely translated as a Chinese/Russian hybrid and some days it is closer to French. Just depends. Generally, I just translate for me and the small people in my life. I think that Silicon Valley could hire me to stand at the end of corridors and make sure everyone can understand each other.  Then I would take a nap.


Small people?  I was a child, I would never do that to anyone.  Not even someone I didn't like.  I can't imagine anything worse.

No small people here, thankfully.  I'd never forgive myself.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Veralisa Markwood Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2019 at 9:39am
I'm an introvert and I NEED time alone.

However, I'm also very comfortable in front of a crowd, leading a group, giving presentations - which is a good thing because that's what I do! There is a misconception that all introverts are shy, and that is not the case for me at all. But, I'm either "on" or "not on." After doing my job, I need to re-charge...alone. 

In my case, I like this message board because people are kind and also interested in what I'm interested in. Not sure it has to do with being an introvert, but maybe. When I am around people, I like to be around people who have energy. I find it draining to be around people who are low-energy. So, I like this board because you're all active writers and share great posts. The general message of this message board is "write!" and that's what I appreciate.

Interesting post!






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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Random Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2019 at 9:44am
Originally posted by MissMoosie MissMoosie wrote:

I'm not a manager, but I have to talk through and present ideas, and I hate it. I'm freelance, but have become an expert liar, convincing everyone that I'm not cripplingly shy and augmenting it with stories about why I'm too busy [too anxious] to go to the glitzy events they attend.


You need to go to those glitzy events, even if you leave a little early, even if it's uncomfortable, even if you hate it.  It's a useful skill, and if you're freelance it can be useful for your career as well.  Show up, watch, learn, do the best you can until you can't stand it anymore, than wait another five minutes before you leave.  The more you do it, the more you will be able to do it.

Think of it as posting your story here.  It's not comfort zone, and it's not 'safe place', which is why it's good for you.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote chrissie0707 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2019 at 9:48am
Originally posted by Veralisa Markwood Veralisa Markwood wrote:

I'm an introvert and I NEED time alone.

However, I'm also very comfortable in front of a crowd, leading a group, giving presentations - which is a good thing because that's what I do! There is a misconception that all introverts are shy, and that is not the case for me at all. But, I'm either "on" or "not on." After doing my job, I need to re-charge...alone. 


For SURE this is the biggest misconception. We introverts are not shy by nature, we are mentally drained every moment we are in a group. But we can do it. I believe a lot of us can turn it on when we need to, when we need to run meetings, give presentations and speeches, or generally sound intelligent and put-together in front of other people. But after? We probably crash. Hard. I know I do. The "shy" introverts are those of us that struggle with not just the mental drain of a crowd, but some degree of social anxiety thrown into the mix. We are the masses of messes who can make things sound so much better on paper or screen than we EVER could with our voices. We're the ones who make plans a month out because it sounds like something we WISH sounded fun, and then when the day comes have to cancel, because we've already done too damn much people-ing for the day or the week or the month.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote nod1v1ng Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2019 at 9:52am
Originally posted by Veralisa Markwood Veralisa Markwood wrote:

There is a misconception that all introverts are shy, and that is not the case for me at all. But, I'm either "on" or "not on." After doing my job, I need to re-charge...alone. 

Exactly - it would be impossible to be INTJ-A (both introverted and assertive) if introversion was synonymous with being shy. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote beadbalm Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Jan 2019 at 9:56am
Originally posted by Random Random wrote:

Originally posted by beadbalm beadbalm wrote:

Yep. Social language is a learned language. Some days it is loosely translated as a Chinese/Russian hybrid and some days it is closer to French. Just depends. Generally, I just translate for me and the small people in my life. I think that Silicon Valley could hire me to stand at the end of corridors and make sure everyone can understand each other.  Then I would take a nap.


Small people?  I was a child, I would never do that to anyone.  Not even someone I didn't like.  I can't imagine anything worse.

No small people here, thankfully.  I'd never forgive myself.

I hear you. BUT, I have a built in tribe that was born being able to quote Dr. Who and Star Trek (and lots of other amazing things), just from genetics. And that's pretty special.

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