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Hey, losers...

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RBJohnson View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote RBJohnson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2019 at 10:05am
Originally posted by fioOxf fioOxf wrote:

Hey, as we're Non-Comp, can we extend the deadline, so long as we only spend a couple of days writing? I've been travelling and conferencing and funeralling, and I'm off again tomorrow, but might get time on the various planes and at the airports. 

Deadline? What's a deadline? Losers don't have deadlines. Throw us some words when you have 'em!      Big smile 
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Alex Grey View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Alex Grey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2019 at 10:21am
Originally posted by RBJohnson RBJohnson wrote:

Originally posted by fioOxf fioOxf wrote:

Hey, as we're Non-Comp, can we extend the deadline, so long as we only spend a couple of days writing? I've been travelling and conferencing and funeralling, and I'm off again tomorrow, but might get time on the various planes and at the airports. 

Deadline? What's a deadline? Losers don't have deadlines. Throw us some words when you have 'em!      Big smile 


I had no deadline, so I finished a reasonably complete draft in no time at all and would have had oodles of time for a last edit - that would so not have been true if I'd been under pressure Wink
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NatalieJames Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2019 at 2:22pm
Originally posted by Alex Grey Alex Grey wrote:

Originally posted by RBJohnson RBJohnson wrote:

Originally posted by fioOxf fioOxf wrote:

Hey, as we're Non-Comp, can we extend the deadline, so long as we only spend a couple of days writing? I've been travelling and conferencing and funeralling, and I'm off again tomorrow, but might get time on the various planes and at the airports. 

Deadline? What's a deadline? Losers don't have deadlines. Throw us some words when you have 'em!      Big smile 


I had no deadline, so I finished a reasonably complete draft in no time at all and would have had oodles of time for a last edit - that would so not have been true if I'd been under pressure Wink

Lol. All these. I hammered out a draft yesterday that I may or may not type up/edit until everyone else gets cleared for posting. 100% of the fun, none of the pressure. 

Sadly, none of the glory either, but you can't have everything. 
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote karlynns Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2019 at 3:51pm
OK, fellow losers!  Here's my draft.  I agree - it's easier to write when you don't have the pressure of submission.  

I picked horror - a renovation - a researcher.  I like horror, but apparently have a really hard time writing it, so I hope this isn't too terrible.

Gotta do some work, and then I'm going to try to read the other stories in our "Loser's heat".  Thanks everyone for doing this - it's awesome to keep some of the fun going.

Karlynn

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Alex Grey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2019 at 4:19pm
Originally posted by karlynns karlynns wrote:

OK, fellow losers!  Here's my draft.  I agree - it's easier to write when you don't have the pressure of submission.  

I picked horror - a renovation - a researcher.  I like horror, but apparently have a really hard time writing it, so I hope this isn't too terrible.

Gotta do some work, and then I'm going to try to read the other stories in our "Loser's heat".  Thanks everyone for doing this - it's awesome to keep some of the fun going.

Karlynn



Eeeuw that was so creepy! You hit the prompts wonderfully and I liked that you gave us good reason for why your MC went back to the house. The steady pace and the structure worked well. I'm not a fan of the horror genre so I'm not sure of the conventions - I would have liked a little more about Tim's relationship with the thing (trying not to put spoilers in) - were they in contact while he was away? Had they been plotting all along? Did the thing have an influence on your MCs mind? I loved your title and was drawn in from the get go and was gripped throughout. The exposition was slow enough for me to wonder whether she had somehow perpetrated the crime and he was the innocent party - intriguing!

I would have preferred shorter sentences, particularly in the first couple of paragraphs when you're setting the scene. I think that would have made the prose a bit tighter to build the tension. I liked the first person narrative which heightened the MC's sense of isolation.

Thank you so much for taking part in this - it's been a great morale boost - both to write new stories and to read them :-)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote RBJohnson Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Apr 2019 at 8:57pm
Originally posted by karlynns karlynns wrote:

OK, fellow losers!  Here's my draft.  I agree - it's easier to write when you don't have the pressure of submission.  

I picked horror - a renovation - a researcher.  I like horror, but apparently have a really hard time writing it, so I hope this isn't too terrible.

Gotta do some work, and then I'm going to try to read the other stories in our "Loser's heat".  Thanks everyone for doing this - it's awesome to keep some of the fun going.

Karlynn


Good work. I enjoyed how you made it feel like your narrator's trust was going to be the gem that saved this story, and then turned that on its head and made it (her?) weakness. The abstraction of your evil (versus something more human and literal) was a nice touch too. I think you could have played that scene a bit harder -- a description of running and slipping, of the sound and smell of the vile stuff, I don't know.

Glad you played, and really enjoyed your story!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote northernwriter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Apr 2019 at 11:06am
I did a non competing story for Flash Fiction when I didn’t advance and it was so much fun! We listed the stories in their own group on the forum, so be sure to do that. I will be sure to read a few (especially if anyone used my group’s prompt, group 25.) Good luck and have fun!!
Screenplay R2Murderous Intent

Screenplay R1 <a href="https://tinyurl.com/y3nl3qdo" rel="nofollow">Figure Eight
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote karlynns Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Apr 2019 at 10:42pm
Originally posted by northernwriter northernwriter wrote:

I did a non competing story for Flash Fiction when I didn’t advance and it was so much fun! We listed the stories in their own group on the forum, so be sure to do that. I will be sure to read a few (especially if anyone used my group’s prompt, group 25.) Good luck and have fun!!

Great idea!  How do we do it?  I don't know how to list in a group that isn't a competing group.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote karlynns Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Apr 2019 at 11:03pm
Originally posted by Alex Grey Alex Grey wrote:

This story was a particular challenge for me as I hate the horror genre - I don't read it or watch it and, on the rare occasion that I've caugh the edge of a Stephen King film, I have regretted it. Yet the reality of taking part in the NYC Competitons, which I am keen to do, means that I may need to embrace the horror genre one day. I could have waited and crossed that bridge if/when I came to it, but I thought I would use losers corner (insert apostrophe as appropriate!) as an opportunity to explore the genre.

I've tried to work with the prompts and the story comes in at 1,942 words so I have a few to play with. The post is protected - the password is Dianahounds

This story made me cry as I was writing it and nothing about it has made me change my horror of horror. I think that the worst part is that the most horrifying aspects are based in truth.

I dedicate this story to the galgos and podencos - may Diana protect you.

https://ideal-reader.blog/2019/04/06/short-story-the-hunted-warning-horror-genre-not-for-the-sensitive/


Oh, wow!  This is deeply, deeply creepy, and a great story!  But I was sad to find out it's based in reality.

As someone who enjoys a good horror story, this is great!  I loved the idea of her haunting the area, avenging the dogs.  And Diana clouding his mind and making people see what she wanted them to see was a cool device.  It gave me goosebumps!

If I had to give any constructive advice, I'd just say that if you wanted to truly sell this as a horror story (and didn't have the limitation of the word count), I think you could lean into the horror of the situation a little more.  I'm guessing that it's because you don't really like horror, but you kind of gloss over the actual gruesome events - like her dying, alone and in pain, in a well on top of her dog.  I think you could expand on all of that a little more - the sounds, the smells, what it felt like for her to be covered in a well alone...THAT is what horror is all about!  

Now to go think about something less creepy and snuggle my pets...

Karlynn
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote karlynns Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 09 Apr 2019 at 11:10pm
Originally posted by RBJohnson RBJohnson wrote:

Okay, so here's my "entry." Not real-contest-worthy, cuz it doesn't have to be, and I can't spend two days on it right now. But I like it okay. :) Let me know if the link doesn't work. Your comments are invited and welcome.


Super cool story!  I really loved the voice of the characters, and I liked the twist at the end!  (Don't want to spoil things here).  I was completely not expecting it!  I think I would have felt sorry for your main character if she hadn't seemed so ominous the whole time.  But as it was, I kind of felt like she should have seen it coming.

It was a fun take on the DB Cooper legend, and I enjoyed reading it!  Thanks for playing in our "bracket."

Karlynn
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