Hidden nuggets in your story |
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JanetM
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 15 Jul 2017 Location: Ontario Status: Offline Points: 3215 |
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Posted: 30 Jul 2019 at 4:45pm |
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Just wondering if anyone wanted to share any hidden nuggets in their story that they are afraid the judges might miss.
It's an often discussed thing in the forum: the fear that the judges will miss any subtle (or not so subtle) details or "read between the lines" story bits during their reading of hundreds of stories. I'm sure that there are some procrastinating judges that have to read a bunch of stories in a short timeframe. Hopefully not, but knowing some real life people... AND it's too bad, because that's usually something that makes a great story: dots of brilliance, that you, as a reader, connect later. Am I right? I had an idea for my romance this flash fiction round that I'd have the couple, as their inside layers are revealed, would lose outside layers- of clothing. They went from scuba gear, to evening wear to swimsuits. It didn't work out since- flash fiction- I spent no time describing the clothing. Anyway, did you have any hidden nuggets in your story that you are afraid the judges might miss? Any foreshadowing, symbolism, etc. you want to see if we can find?
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steph9289
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 23 Jan 2016 Location: Brooklyn, NY Status: Offline Points: 8966 |
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I have more of an Easter Egg in mine! A reference to a piece of literature that I put in there purposely. No one has pointed it out, so I'm not sure if anyone has even noticed it yet!
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#amrevising
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JanetM
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 15 Jul 2017 Location: Ontario Status: Offline Points: 3215 |
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Ooooo! Yeah! I haven't read yours yet! I will read it tonight!
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Great topic! A few years ago, I wrote a story about a woman who was severely detached from reality. She observed everything from outside of herself. At the beginning of the story, the cops show up at the back of the funeral home, and she acknowledges their presence in her narration (she's the narrator). At the end of the story, the cops move in and arrest her husband, and she thinks, "Oh, the cops are here. When did they show up?" or something like that. Maybe it was, "Oh, the cops are here. Have they been here all along?" I don't quite recall. Anyway, one judge said, "Do you realize you had the cops at the beginning of the story? I couldn't tell if it was an oversight on your part or if the narrator was forgetful." (Hello. It was the entire psychological theme of my story.) And I was an honorable mention that round, so I was SO FREAKIN' FRUSTRATED at that judge's lack of comprehension that I wanted to scream.
Then the moment passed, and I ate some ice cream instead. With my current story, I named one of my characters Denver because my favorite aunt has always lived in Denver (as well as Washington). I do a lot of stuff with names like that.
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JanetM
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 15 Jul 2017 Location: Ontario Status: Offline Points: 3215 |
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I can't figure it out! I DID learn that Miss Martha brings up an American children's author, but I doubt she wrote anything about time travel unless Jesus was in the spaceship. OR maybe she didn't believe in dinosaurs and there's the funny part? #NancyDrew
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JanetM
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 15 Jul 2017 Location: Ontario Status: Offline Points: 3215 |
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That's so frustrating! I hate that when you have 2 judges loving the story and 1 that doesn't- but to completely miss the point of the story. Also crazy that they thought you were unaware of the thing that you WROTE in your story. Do they not realize how many times you read your story over...and over? (or is that just me?) Fun on the names! That's a personal hidden nugget.
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Dvmason
NYC Midnight Regular Joined: 27 Jan 2018 Location: Galveston Status: Offline Points: 423 |
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Ice cream is also my go to, just reading your story was so frustrating though I felt like I needed some! I’m always doing little inside jokes with my names too. My MC is a nod to Greek mythology based on her personal “gifts” that a few readers did point out which was great. Also the supporting characters name is “Pierce” which is a bit of a pun (also, sounds like a good name for a jerk). Once I had political satire and skateboard as my object and a brewery as my location. I had the skateboard be the presentation for a beer sampler (usually called a “flight”, here just called a “skate”). The little beers were set into the board and the drinker could move it a little to the left or a little to the right, but it wouldn’t change much. The whole story was a metaphor for the political system (you could select two beers for the flight, named basically red or blue, but at the end you follow the bartender back and they come from the same kegs). The skateboard metaphor was totally lost on judges and compatriots, but now that I’m explaining it again, that isn’t really surprising. There was a lot going on. Once I had a prompt for suspense, brainwashing and gem stone collectors and did a retelling of the Snow White story where Snow (here named “Nieva” Spanish for “snow”) was brainwashing her 7 roommates to give her gems. One judge had absolutely no idea and I got some complaints about how weird the name was (it’s fairly popular downsouth/ in latinx community). Anyway, GREAT THREAD! Most of my nuggets are entirely for myself. But I can’t tell you the joy that it brings when one is found and my overthinking is -for once- celebrated |
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H213 "In Between & Through"
Suspense [Adventure/ Fantasy] |
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mhelgens
NYC Midnight Addict Joined: 16 Jul 2017 Location: Iowa Status: Offline Points: 988 |
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I wouldn’t call this a hidden nugget because I thought it was obvious, but a couple years ago I wrote a ghost story about a little girl who died in the Holocaust. At the end, there was a scene in the Holocaust museum that featured the huge pile of victims’ shoes that they have on display there. The little girl’s shoe buckle was also a sort of talisman for the main character throughout the whole story, and he found that shoe buckle in the pile of shoes at the end, revealing the child’s past for the first time. So I titled my story The Soles That Survive, and so many people on the forums complimented my word play with the reference to the shoes. But one of my judges thought it was just a typo and proceeded to explain to me the difference between “souls” and “soles.” I got an honorable mention that round. If only I’d have played it safer and abandoned the word puns, maybe I would have placed.... jk there was plenty wrong with that story, but that was still incredibly frustrating.
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Read my R1 Story: LINK= https://forums.nycmidnight.com/topic51959_post550543.html#550543
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To Steph: I wanna find it! I'm on it! I'll tab over there in a minute.
To JanetM: Ooh, there's a term for it? Awesome! Personal hidden nugget!! Yeah, I do a lot of those with names, for some reason! To Dvmason: I love "Pierce" as a double entendre (is that the term?). Very nice! And, you've just summed up one of my biggest fears of being assigned political satire--no one getting your satire. How frustrating! Your premise for that one seems brilliant to me! And I think Nieva is a gorgeous name! When I took Spanish, the teacher asked us to choose a Spanish name for ourselves on the first day of class. She gave us a list of possible names. I had a classmate named Hope who chose to be called Esperanza, which wasn't on the list, but it's Spanish for "hope". I always thought that was brilliant, and I like how you hid meaning in the translation of Nieva! To mhelgens: Oh, no, tell me the judges didn't react that way. You're got to be kidding me. I feel your pain.
Edited by Zelda - 31 Jul 2019 at 4:31pm |
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Alex Grey
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 27 Jan 2019 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 2012 |
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I like to use foreign words for names; in SSC one of my characters, a radiant supermodel, was called "Susulu" which means "Shine" in Samoan. I love using Google translate to generate names but I have to resist the temptation to explain myself in the text (unless it's relevant to the plot) because no-one likes a smart alec! :-)
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