Practicing FF for contests |
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tcFlash
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 14 Aug 2014 Location: Michigan Status: Offline Points: 4844 |
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I posted this story before, but I've altered it extensively. I'd like to try having it published. If anyone wants to read it and leave some feedback here in the forum, I would appreciate it. I began with the prompts, Suspense, An Attic, A friendship bracelet. This version is over 1300 words, and I don't think I can edit it down much further without ruining the story. I've already cut 500 words. It will have to be published as a short story, most likely.
Right now, I'm calling it Glory Days. Here is the link. Leave feedback here in the forum. |
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catrad
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 27 Jul 2016 Location: Argyle Ny Status: Offline Points: 1638 |
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If you want to publish it, honestly, I would suggest using what you have as an outline and pacing it out more. If your not limited to 1000 (or even 2000) then there's room to work this play out. Right now it feels like you're throwing a string of facts at us. You can eliminate the bracelet if it's not for the contest, and you can show us more of the dynamic between them to make the end really work.
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Grp 96 The Farmer Who Not Grow Up
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tcFlash
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 14 Aug 2014 Location: Michigan Status: Offline Points: 4844 |
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I cut it from 1800 words to try for 1000. I think it's lost a lot in the editing. I'll try your idea of using this as an outline. I'm in the process of editing now, so I should probably remove the link until I have something worth sharing. Thanks for the feedback.
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catrad
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 27 Jul 2016 Location: Argyle Ny Status: Offline Points: 1638 |
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I hope I wasn't discouraging. You have the bones of a good creepy story, but since you said the goal is publishing, I wanted to be constructive.
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Grp 96 The Farmer Who Not Grow Up
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tcFlash
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 14 Aug 2014 Location: Michigan Status: Offline Points: 4844 |
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Heck no. I've been in these forums for five years, most of the time for FF ad SS. When I see a constructive (often called negative) comment, my heart goes pitter patter because I know my story is about to get better if I accept the criticism and apply it well. I'm sure a lot of us have discovered something that I have seen more and more over the years writing flash. All of my writing is leaner, so when I go back to cut words, it is really difficult. That's what has happened to this story. I cut it from 1800 to 1300 and it couldn't take that much cutting without doing some damage. So now I will take your advice and use the story as it is to create a longer story. I'll just have to find a different place to submit it to since the one I had chosen had a maximum of 1000 words. Thanks for being willing to read the story and give me an honest opinion. I'll go back through the comments and see if there are stories I can read as well. But, I still am reading the competition stories, although not as many as at first. I encourage others who are participating in this topic to jump over to the competition stories from time to time as well. There are people who have had very few reads and comments. Thanks again.
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tcFlash
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 14 Aug 2014 Location: Michigan Status: Offline Points: 4844 |
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I went back to work on the story I've been sharing here and was shocked to see that it had been scrambled to such an extent, it was nothing that resembled a story. If that is what you read, please accept my apologies. I would never post something like that on purpose and call it a story. I'll post again when I get something pulled together.
That is one thing I don't like about Google Docs. If you highlight a section, it is possible then to move it to a different place on the page. I believe some like that happened with this story.
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catrad
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 27 Jul 2016 Location: Argyle Ny Status: Offline Points: 1638 |
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I've been trying to read and review one or two a day, focusing on the ones with few reviews.
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Grp 96 The Farmer Who Not Grow Up
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KJHunter
NYC Midnight Regular Joined: 12 Jul 2018 Status: Offline Points: 476 |
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I've been a little MIA here, focusing on other writing-related endeavors. But I am going to get back to the review forums and try to offer some more crits. I know I find them so helpful! Hope everyone is doing well. I'm excited to see that so many people use these FFC stories as a basis to expand into something even better! I'm wondering whether I should do so as well... Hmmm. :)
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catrad
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 27 Jul 2016 Location: Argyle Ny Status: Offline Points: 1638 |
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Do we have a challenge for the weekend? Anyone interested? |
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Grp 96 The Farmer Who Not Grow Up
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tcFlash
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 14 Aug 2014 Location: Michigan Status: Offline Points: 4844 |
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deleted
Edited by tcFlash - 21 Oct 2018 at 12:54am |
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