A Review of Your Screenplay |
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Gandalf
NYC Midnight Groupie Joined: 07 Dec 2017 Location: Middle-Earth Status: Offline Points: 235 |
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Posted: 11 Jan 2018 at 1:35pm |
This was great! I really enjoyed it. Good work with the prompts - I especially loved the use of the whip. It was so interesting how we were never really sure where Christian is coming from. Is he good or bad? Excellent job!
One tiny nit: It looks like your entry was a copy-and-paste of E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey in its entirety, with nothing changed. Fifty Shades is prose, which means some of the formatting may have been a little off for a screenplay (at least, I think! I am new to this and not an expert!). Oh, and at 514 pages, you were a shade over the five-page limit for this competition, which might count against you. But this is minor! Excellent work again, and good luck with the judges - not that you'll need it!
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lisafox10800
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 18 Jul 2016 Location: NJ Status: Offline Points: 9440 |
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lisafoxiswriting.com
My short story collection, Core Truths, is now available wherever books are sold. |
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Zblugg
NYC Midnight Black Belt Joined: 25 Apr 2017 Location: Cantley, Canada Status: Offline Points: 4256 |
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Sadly, this sounds cheerfully close to a review I could write. Wow. 10/10, would get whipped again.
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MF100 R2G16 Marv and Mary Have Flower Issues
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