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mathi3u View Drop Down
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    Posted: 17 Aug 2022 at 12:42pm




Edited by mathi3u - 08 Oct 2022 at 5:23pm
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Log_Lady View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Log_Lady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Aug 2022 at 12:48pm
Hey Mathi3u, 

Nice to see you posting your story - can't wait to read it. The link isn't working for me, though...
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mathi3u View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mathi3u Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Aug 2022 at 1:13pm
Originally posted by Log_Lady Log_Lady wrote:

Hey Mathi3u, 

Nice to see you posting your story - can't wait to read it. The link isn't working for me, though...

Thanks for letting me know! Fixed~
Can't wait to read yours as well!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Log_Lady Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Aug 2022 at 3:41pm
Thanks so much for your kind comments on mine, here to return the favor!

What a wonderful tale you've told us! 

(SPOILER ALERT)
Such a great and creative use of the timer prompt! I loved the suspense it built throughout. Towards the end, I wondered when Sadie packed her bag if the words "God rest her soul" would make an appearance so your ending is much more upbeat. 

I loved the wide use of the device and all the examples you gave for it's use, for example when surgeries are successful. 

For consideration: I loved your plot and concept but think it could have been a tad elevated if you had  included a dystopian element to your sci-fi.  Perhaps you could explore how the timers could be used for evil / manipulation / cost-savings by the government for example. 

All things in, this is a fantastic story and I hope and think it will do well with the judges. Thanks for sharing it in the forums.


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Ben Daggers View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ben Daggers Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Aug 2022 at 10:25am
Your first round story was probably my favourite of the ones I read (and I read a LOT!), so was very interested to see what you'd bring to round two.

I think this was a really clever, emotionally engaging piece of sci fi. 

A few grammar and spelling nitpicks aside (vile/vial stood out particularly on first reading), there are a couple of things that I think could have made it even stronger.

As is, the LifeTime is the only element in the story that wouldn't be present today. I'm not sure if that was an intentional decision, but I would have liked to have seen a little of what else had changed in the last 60 or more years. (For me that's one of the best treats when reading sci fi).

In general though I thought it was really well written, had lots of touching little moments, and ended beautifully. 

Best of luck with the judges!
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