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A Review of Your Screenplay

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Gandalf View Drop Down
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    Posted: 11 Jan 2018 at 1:35pm
This was great! I really enjoyed it. Good work with the prompts - I especially loved the use of the whip. It was so interesting how we were never really sure where Christian is coming from. Is he good or bad? Excellent job!

One tiny nit: It looks like your entry was a copy-and-paste of E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey in its entirety, with nothing changed. Fifty Shades is prose, which means some of the formatting may have been a little off for a screenplay (at least, I think! I am new to this and not an expert!). Oh, and at 514 pages, you were a shade over the five-page limit for this competition, which might count against you.

But this is minor! Excellent work again, and good luck with the judges - not that you'll need it!
Short Screenplay Competition
1) A Small Fruit Tale (15 pts)
2) Fracture (13 pts)
3) Being Gandalf
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lisafox10800 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lisafox10800 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11 Jan 2018 at 10:28pm
Originally posted by Gandalf Gandalf wrote:

This was great! I really enjoyed it. Good work with the prompts - I especially loved the use of the whip. It was so interesting how we were never really sure where Christian is coming from. Is he good or bad? Excellent job!

One tiny nit: It looks like your entry was a copy-and-paste of E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey in its entirety, with nothing changed. Fifty Shades is prose, which means some of the formatting may have been a little off for a screenplay (at least, I think! I am new to this and not an expert!). Oh, and at 514 pages, you were a shade over the five-page limit for this competition, which might count against you.

But this is minor! Excellent work again, and good luck with the judges - not that you'll need it!

LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Zblugg Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Jan 2018 at 8:10am
Originally posted by Gandalf Gandalf wrote:

This was great! I really enjoyed it. Good work with the prompts - I especially loved the use of the whip. It was so interesting how we were never really sure where Christian is coming from. Is he good or bad? Excellent job!

One tiny nit: It looks like your entry was a copy-and-paste of E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey in its entirety, with nothing changed. Fifty Shades is prose, which means some of the formatting may have been a little off for a screenplay (at least, I think! I am new to this and not an expert!). Oh, and at 514 pages, you were a shade over the five-page limit for this competition, which might count against you.

But this is minor! Excellent work again, and good luck with the judges - not that you'll need it!

Sadly, this sounds cheerfully close to a review I could write. 

Wow.

10/10, would get whipped again.
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