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ottersdaughter View Drop Down
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    Posted: 29 Jan 2017 at 8:19am
I want the camera close in on something on the ground, and then to pull back so that the person approaching comes into view, feet first and then on up until we can see the whole person. My question is, how the heck do I say that in the script? 

Can anyone help? Or think of a film that does this so I try to look up the script? I'm a neophyte, so it may be something obvious I just don't know.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote adreens Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jan 2017 at 5:35pm
Generally speaking, shots shouldn't be included in a script.  That tends to be up to the director and they frown on writers including anything that specific.  If it's absolutely imperative to the script you could try to write around it so it's not obvious that you're giving direction.  For example:

A watch lies on the ground.  Feet approach the watch.  It becomes apparent that the feet belong to Karl.

Or something to that effect.  But anytime I get stuck in a situation like that I reevaluate to determine if it's absolutely necessary, since it's not really approved of in scripts.

I hope that helps!  Good luck!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ottersdaughter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jan 2017 at 7:04pm
That does help, thank you! Now I just have to decide how critical it is Wink

Edited by ottersdaughter - 29 Jan 2017 at 7:05pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote Scarlet Screenwriter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jan 2017 at 7:32pm

How are things in the 'Stans, OT?  What's the reaction been to YOUR new President?  I've started telling people I'm Canadian, eh ... like I did when George W Bush was in the chair ...

I concur ... TELLING the audience what to see AND how to see it ... through what you want the camera or director to do ... is not cool ...

As you can only write what the audience see and hear ... apart from brief character introductions and the slug line for each scene ... try adopting a POV ... "A watch sits on the footpath. It becomes clear it is quite valuable.  KARL looks down at the watch between his feet.  He stoops to retrieve it."

It's also a personal thing, but I HATE using (parentheticals) to describe how people speak ... I would rather put that in ACTION. 

I like threads like this ... exchanging ideas and preferences ... you should spin it out ...






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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote NilesPerry Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 29 Jan 2017 at 10:05pm
For a very specific shot, something that's important to the script, I usually say, "Directing on paper be damned!" and just write it. I would handle this questions with something like this:

CLOSE UP - A PHOTOGRAPH

A happy moment in time captured on paper. PULL BACK TO REVEAL that it's framed and sitting on a shelf in:

INT. CARL'S OFFICE - DAY

Then go on to describe the scene...

I repeat... I would only use this kind of specific formatting in a script if I felt is was absolutely essential. Otherwise, I'd stick to Master Scene.

EDIT: I should note that I've done things like this several times in this competition in the past and have never once had a judge call me out on it.


Edited by NilesPerry - 29 Jan 2017 at 10:06pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ottersdaughter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jan 2017 at 2:36am

Originally posted by Scarlet Screenwriter Scarlet Screenwriter wrote:


How are things in the 'Stans, OT?  What's the reaction been to YOUR new President?  I've started telling people I'm Canadian, eh ... like I did when George W Bush was in the chair ... 


Things are pretty quiet in TKM actually. People here are pretty conditioned not to talk about politics. I’ve only heard about it at the school, and the few local staff who have mentioned it are of the opinion that we’ve gone nuts… I couldn’t exactly argue.

Originally posted by Scarlet Screenwriter Scarlet Screenwriter wrote:


I concur ... TELLING the audience what to see AND how to see it ... through what you want the camera or director to do ... is not cool ... 
As you can only write what the audience see and hear ... apart from brief character introductions and the slug line for each scene ... try adopting a POV ... "A watch sits on the footpath. It becomes clear it is quite valuable.  KARL looks down at the watch between his feet.  He stoops to retrieve it."


Staying on the right side of the line between the screenwriter’s job and the director’s is giving me fits. I’m betting that, like anything else, it only gets easier with practice. Lots, and lots of practice.

Originally posted by Scarlet Screenwriter Scarlet Screenwriter wrote:


It's also a personal thing, but I HATE using (parentheticals) to describe how people speak ... I would rather put that in ACTION.  

I remember seeing that somewhere back in October when I was reading everything I could make time for to try and prepare for the first challenge, so it may be personal but it isn’t just you.

Besides, they seem to eat up line space. Even with what feels like ruthless revision I’m still scrambling for every line I can snag!




Edited by ottersdaughter - 30 Jan 2017 at 2:36am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ottersdaughter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jan 2017 at 2:39am
Originally posted by NilesPerry NilesPerry wrote:

For a very specific shot, something that's important to the script, I usually say, "Directing on paper be damned!" and just write it. I would handle this questions with something like this:

CLOSE UP - A PHOTOGRAPH

A happy moment in time captured on paper. PULL BACK TO REVEAL that it's framed and sitting on a shelf in:

INT. CARL'S OFFICE - DAY

Then go on to describe the scene...

I repeat... I would only use this kind of specific formatting in a script if I felt is was absolutely essential. Otherwise, I'd stick to Master Scene.

EDIT: I should note that I've done things like this several times in this competition in the past and have never once had a judge call me out on it.

I was able to revise so I didn't feel I had to have it, but this is exactly what I was trying (and failing) to come up with. Thanks!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ottersdaughter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jan 2017 at 3:03am
Originally posted by Scarlet Screenwriter Scarlet Screenwriter wrote:


I like threads like this ... exchanging ideas and preferences ... you should spin it out ...

Ok... any tricks for recognizing and revising out the stuff that belongs in a short story but not a screenplay? And how much of that can you get away with in the real world before being classified "amateur"?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Scarlet Screenwriter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jan 2017 at 3:09am

I know from directors they stumble when they read something that sounds like direction ... same with producers ... same with actors ...

If you can make these people see and hear it they way it's playing in your "Mind's Cinema," without  s p e l l i n g  i t   o u t, you're doing it right.  




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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ottersdaughter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30 Jan 2017 at 4:02am
Originally posted by Scarlet Screenwriter Scarlet Screenwriter wrote:


I know from directors they stumble when they read something that sounds like direction ... same with producers ... same with actors ...

If you can make these people see and hear it they way it's playing in your "Mind's Cinema," without  s p e l l i n g  i t   o u t, you're doing it right.  

Sounds like lots and lots of reading the really good stuff and lots and lots of practice...I can do that :)
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