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Judging Error

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BlackGate View Drop Down
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    Posted: 12 Feb 2016 at 5:08pm
NYC Midnight,

I have been sent feedback for a different script to the one I submitted to Round 3 of the Short Screenplay competition. Only one judge has commented on any content in my screenplay. Please review urgently - I think there has been a judging mistake.

As below the text in red has nothing to do with my screenplay. Please review urgently and reply today. This will be posted elsewhere in the forum.

Thanks Paul



''I'll Keep You Safe and Happy'' by Paul Draper - WHAT THE JUDGE(S) LIKED ABOUT YOUR SCREENPLAY - ...I really like where this was going, love the idea of a “death clock” game, can’t get more ominous than that. Also, great image of the truck driver struggling with the heat. .........The ending is a nice twist, after the fairly obvious first twist.  The feeling of a family stuck together in cramped quarters is established efficiently and credibly.  The teenaged boy coming of age is nicely drawn as well.  Most of the dialogue flows nicely.  The visual contrast between the cold, clinical truck interior and the desert at night around the campfire is striking.......I really enjoyed the setting of a gas station – ripe for horror moments. The idea of a haunted Zaltar type of game that brings about people’s deaths is fascinating. Or is the Attendant that’s cursing people? ...............................................................…........................   WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK - ...You had me for the most part, but I was a little confused by a few things. I was unsure about why the blizzard was there if it never really paid off? Because the trucker died in June, I got why the attendant was dressed the certain way and the man at the end but I didn’t get why we would see the trucker driving in a blizzard if it’s actually June (supposedly when he died). I was also confused at the presence of the man in the end. I didn’t understand what his purpose really was, I guess other than revealing the rest of the newspaper article. It was pretty clear to me at that point that it was how the trucker died, so I don’t think bringing in that other guy in the end is really doing anything for you. .........At least in part because I know that the contest requires a refrigerated truck, I thought the family was living under refrigeration on the first read.  The geography of the truck is a little unclear; there's the cab, which somehow has a door to the compartment, which is walled off into two spaces, one of which is refrigerated, and is accessible from both inside the truck and outside, but they can't see out of the living compartment...?  Some of the dialogue is very on-the-nose.......While it’s a neat concept, we’re not really certain of what’s going on here. Is it the arcade machine that’s killing people? Is it the attendant? What element is causing so many people to crash and die after stopping by this station? 

Adding more to Ike’s character could do wonders for the script. Give him some other conflict or element to play with in these scenes other than a guy delivering ice. It gets creepy when he dies, but in between those moments, the audience needs to be just as engaged. ...........................….........................................................



Edited by BlackGate - 14 Feb 2016 at 4:18pm
R1 Soft Strings, Slow Strings
R2 The Ravens of Villers-Bretonneux
R3 Mrs Pendleton's Corpse
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ramsey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Feb 2016 at 7:08pm
Did you email them ?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BlackGate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Feb 2016 at 7:31pm
Yep got a reply. They've admitted the error and are looking into it. 

Not ideal...
R1 Soft Strings, Slow Strings
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R3 Mrs Pendleton's Corpse
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Ramsey Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Feb 2016 at 7:32pm
Keep us updated. I hope it gets sorted. !!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BlackGate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Feb 2016 at 7:39pm
Cheers Ramsey. It's complicated, as I got one score from my screenplay and two scores from another writer's. The other writer got two scores from my screenplay and one from his own (that writer got an honorable mention).

I'm hoping to get a breakdown of the correct three scores. It might have crept me into the top five, or maybe not. Either way I won't get that until R4 is well underway in a few hours, and I doubt they'll want to contact another writer and tell them they didn't get through after all even if that's the case.

Quite a cock up. Not best pleased.


Edited by BlackGate - 12 Feb 2016 at 7:40pm
R1 Soft Strings, Slow Strings
R2 The Ravens of Villers-Bretonneux
R3 Mrs Pendleton's Corpse
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Reez Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Feb 2016 at 8:46pm
Well that makes sense! I couldn't for the life of me understand why you didn't make the final. I think if the figures add up it wouldn't hurt anyone to add you in and even if you miss a couple of hours go for it!!

Hope it works out!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hollyvict Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 12 Feb 2016 at 9:08pm
Everything about this round was extremely sloppy - even by NYCM standards. First the screenplay loglines were wrong, and now this.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Scarlet Screenwriter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Feb 2016 at 3:09am

Bee Gee ...

"All Judging Is Error" ... I think that was scrawled on a wall in Pompeii ... "quia omnes iudicandi erroris" ...

The judges cut and paste a bunch of comments just like school teachers on reports ... though you'd think by Round Three they'd take a little more care ... Maybe they have a random judging comments generator like the prompts! 

I usually don't pay that much attention!  Maybe I'll look closer next time ...









 


Edited by Scarlet Screenwriter - 13 Feb 2016 at 8:17pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote BlackGate Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Feb 2016 at 4:31am
Pretty poor show. After the markdown for "Austria having nothing to do with the second world war" I got in last year's flash, I'm starting to reconsider the value of spending cash on NYCM.
R1 Soft Strings, Slow Strings
R2 The Ravens of Villers-Bretonneux
R3 Mrs Pendleton's Corpse
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Scarlet Screenwriter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Feb 2016 at 7:18am

Obviously the one person in the world who hasn't seen THE SOUND OF MUSIC!

You know bloody Yanks only know their own history ... And little of that considering how often they are doomed to repeat it.   They believe they won both World Wars and the wars only started when they got there ... 1917 and 1941 ...

Chins up, BG ... Stiff upper lip ... None of us are here for the judging and it does offer comic relief!




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